contemporary life is unromantic.

( the three *’s summarizes my week)
It was my little brother’s birthday on the 21st, except he’s not so little anymore; he has hit his first double digits – the wonderful age of ten. Right afterschool my Uncle George picked me up and we went to my mom’s house to celebrate. Some of Chris’ friends came, too. All of the little girls enjoyed hovering next to me as if I were quite possibly some sort of really cool role-model. Ack! Children may like me, but I certainly do not appreciate them. Perhaps I just have a good way of disguising my dislike for them. Elle and Meme and Alba & kids arrived sooner or later.

During the off moments when we weren’t eating, talking drama, or freezing outside in the cold, I was on the laptop talking to Rob (Eric L.’s friend) and Eric H. In theory, I miss Eric L., but when we talk nothing is said and I have a slight suspicion he has been ignoring me. OR, it could all be a figment of my imagination. I miss the way Eric L. and I used to talk. Maybe, just maybe, I made all of that up, though. I did most of the talking back then. Now I don’t even say anything about anything. The fun was killed by me, alone. Digression is not fun when it involves people and regression. Anyhow, my brother’s birthday majig was dandy. (:

This week had its ups and downs. I got a B on the Progressive Era test and for some strange reason I don’t know why I did so badly. I studied … just not as much as I would have liked. BUT! It’s because I was “busy.”***I went to the gym on Monday and Wednesday. Bro’s b-day on Tuesday and dance practice on Thursday.***

But the test was on Friday and even then I went to El Camino College after school. As a matter o’ fact, it has taken me three days to write this entry because I’ve been so busy! I did, however, attain an 8/10 on my second AP Psych quiz. I am beginning to get jealous of my friend, the genius; but, she’s too nice to dislike – and there lies the conundrum. I have made a list of goals:

  1. Deserve an A- in AP US History. It’s totally attainable. I need less than 10% to get my A-. I CAN DO IT.
  2. Get an A in AP Psych. I love this stuff. Read it, absorb it, learn it, live it, breath it, KNOW IT.
  3. Study for math ‘cus I feel that A is much too borderline.

On Wednesday afternoon the LOVELY Eric H. called me during class on the one day I forgot to put my cell on silent. Oh, the irony. Well, my AP Psych teacher only keeps the cell until the end of the class period, but she had a soccer match so she left the class – with my cell. After school I had to walk alllll the frick’n way to the soccer field. So I did. I ended up missing my bus and I had to wait a very long hour for the next one. Naturally, I called Eric H. Grr. I was quite mad, but I quickly got over it because I had gotten ahead and had no homework (and then I went to the gym). But anyhow, while we talked we found out we actually live close to each other. Liek zomg. That single, solitary, dreadful fact haunts me. I don’t want to meet Sarah’s boyfriend for fear of actually liking him as a friend. Strangely, I don’t feel ready to let anyone in on my life. Ironically, again, he’s the one person that knows more about me than anyone I speak to in real life (and even he doesn’t know much). Needless to say, I got home an hour later than usual. With precise timing, Eric called me at 5pm to make sure I got home safely (and this was at about the time when I was just about two houses to mine). Sure, I was baffled at that kind of call because that’s something I’ve only heard from close family members. His call, to me, symbolized that maybe people do care. Well, I think he was more guilty than anything else, but it was still a symbolic moment for me and I smiled for a while after.

With the coming of the next day, by chance, Thurday, self-loathing began yet again. It’s a bad habit that I’ve grown to “love.” I was waiting for my bus in the morning and this guy that I had noted as “cute” came up to me and introduced himself. Forgetting my old super friendly tendencies I muttered a weak “hello . . .” and turned around. He then asked why I had never spoken to him before. Erm – I don’t know, it’s weird?! We went through formal introductions and he kept on talking to me. THEN *please enact a dramatic drumroll here* he started flirting with me. MAJOR EW. I felt like laughing and gagging all at once. Simply thinking about it makes me shudder. We got on the bus and luckily the guy I happen to think is “possibly likable and definitely cute” was on the bus! I couldn’t stop stealing glances at him while my “new friend” was still talking to me. I cannot recall half of what he said because I was preoccupied with thoughts on how weird he was acting and looking at Codename: Red Backpack (the possibly likable guy).

All of the Downey High School kids got off [of the bus], “new friend” included. At this point I had had enough of him so I began a conversation with my other bus friends. He got “sad” because I stopped talking to him and in essence, left him. Oh gawd. Clingy, indeed?! Anyway, I said bye and then my friend Krystell says that “I’m mean.” She’s a tenth-grader to explain her simple language. (lol – kidding, kidding!) She happens to like “new friend” – Jahro (sounds like Highroe?!). Wannabe drama. I want him off my back!! On Friday morning, he began speaking to me in Portugese saying, “I love you. I like being around you.” All I could do was nod politely and smile. I felt like throwing up, seriously. He asked where my sixth period was and he told me he’d meet me there. I didn’t really believe him, but sure enough there he was – at the end of the day waiting for me. ARGHH. I feel more than slightly repulsed. Don’t get me wrong – he’s really cute but a) he’s a tenth-grader (and he thought at first that I was a ninth-grader), and b) it makes me uncomfortable to have anyone even remotely liking me.

Thursday after school, while I should have been studying for APUSH, I was still at school practicing for a ballet. And now, both of my knees have ugly-looking and painful bruises. So I have sensitive skin. Now what? c[: The ballet is intense in terms of movements during some parts, but I looove it and it’s quite easy to memorize. I thiiink I got the bruises while sitting on the floor with legs opened in second, then I do a backroll to land flat on my stomach, and then I get up with my knees, hence the injuries.

Friday night, I went to eat at Suehiro with my Auntie Meme. Auntie Maggie is still in Texas. She’ll be back Saturday night-ish. I’m going to the gym at 6:30am Saturday. Then off the ballet class from 9am-12pm at El Camino with my best friend, Justine. Then I shall see what the day brings. [: Lalalala, I feel okay. Panic! At The Disco has gotten me through this week. Oh, yes – March 1st I’ll be turning seventeen. -_-; Last note: this year’s Winter Olympic Figure Skating competition was quite disappointing – both male and female; Plushenko did not deserve to win anddd the Japanese girl (forgot name) that won only did so because everyone else FELL on the ice; her victory was not well-deserved, but instead attained by luck because her performance was clean.

4 thoughts on “contemporary life is unromantic.

  1. hmm. for some reason my message got cut in half.. well i was saying that my goals are kinda similar to yours. i hope to keep my A in AP US history. since i’m starting to become lazy again

  2. omg !! i couldn’t agree with you more about the figure skating. What the hell was wrong with everyone??? I was becoming very stressful everytime somebody fell down… That one girl almost hit the wall!! ;____;

    Happy b-day to your brother~ ^_____^ …and i think i would feel very uncomfortable as well..if somebody kept on following me around and telling me that they liked me..eeek~

  3. Happy Birthday Brii!! =DD Great layout. Wow. Your brother’s bday is close to yours. Little kids sure do look up to teens. You will do well in school. AP / IB classes are complicated but as long as one focuses and does well, class will be simple. o__O;; A guy who hits on you.. out of nowhere but you noted him cute. That’s really strange. I kind of dislike dancing.. so much to memorize. That is true about the ice skating!! ARGHHH!! Take care.

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