DayAugust 3, 2006

Three Days Grace

I can’t escape this hell
So many times i’ve tried
But I’m still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

Aside from a rude comment by some “Lala” All the comments I received were so reassuring. I would really like to acknowledge that all those comments were deeply appreciated and they have helped me open my eyes to a few things, mainly the need to feel happy. Thank you.

The irony in the entry below lies in the fact that my mother read all the entries currently visible on the front page of my blog. Maybe the entries should have been private for that reason, but it is my blog, and I feel I have a right to write what I know and feel. I must admit it was difficult having my mother quote lines like, “[You] want to kill yourself every other day?” but we talked about it. Of course I only touched up on some of the reasons causing me to be “emo,” but I felt I owed her a bit of an explanation. As it turns out my 10-year old brother also read the two top entries [The Meaning In Makeup and Drown Your Thoughts] – aloud. He read them aloud to me. It was like torture. Then he gave me the cutest sad little face and asked, “Do you really want to kill yourself?” I was a bit speechless, to say the least. Ironic that the one time I feel the urge to express myself publicly, my mother reads my entries.

Anyway, on Wednesday at noon, mother and I drove to Mexico. I must say I think it’s the first time in a long time she and I have gone anywhere together without my little brother. Bonding time, you could call it. We arrived at around 2pm and ate lunch there, then took a nap in our hotel room, woke up to watch a little TV, then went to dinner for coffee and cake. When we went back to the room we watched more TV. Haha. We watched shows that we wouldn’t ordinarily bother to watch or take the time to appreciate here at home. People had been calling me all day, but because of the bad reception and the switching over of cellphone providers in Mexico I wasn’t able to hear anything until about 11pm when David and Pedro both called me at the same time. So we conference-talked and agreed to meet at my house at 8am the next day [today]. So, my mom, being understanding started driving back home at 11:30pm. We got back home at 1:30am. Hah, we spent a random 9 hours in Mexico. I love how random my family is. ♥

Today is David’s birthday. He’s finally 17, that young`n!! Haha. So he arrived at my house at 8am and Pedro got to my house at 8:30am. From there we went to deposit some money into my bank account and then we went to breakfast at some place none of us had eaten at before. I can’t even remember the name, but they had a lot of pies there. We ate, but we were too full to eat any pie. Aww. Then we went to the movie theater. 🙂 We watched Lady in the Water and John Tucker Must Die. Before I go on reviewing the movies I must make note that manyyy scary movies are coming out soon. I’m so excited!! I LOVE horror movies. Haha. 😀

Anyway, here’s what one critic said of the Lady in the Water:

Chicago Sun-Times, Jim Emerson
“…who am I to knock the work of the man who, in his own film, casts himself as a writer whose ideas will inspire a future leader who will save the world…”

Oh, goodness. Lady in the Water is quite possibly one of the suckiest movies ever. I cannot even begin to describe how stupid it was. Just don’t watch it. If you already have, I’m sorry. As for John Tucker Must Die… I LOVED it. I was laughing so much!! It was great. It’s not one of those pointless teenage movies, but it’s pretty damn funny. The ending was a bit, “Whaaaa?” at first, but after thinking it over it was very appropriate and just great~!

We went to Vegas like two weeks ago, but my mom is going again this weekend. I can’t go because I have to work on both Friday and Saturday and I’ve been there too many times in my lifetime already. I’ll be spending time with my Auntie Meme on Saturday morning, though!! I have not hung out with her since I moved out and returned to my mother’s house. Awww, I miss her so much, even though we’ve seen each other every weekend. Haha, but I miss spending just-us-time. 😀

So take a chance.