Three Days Grace

I can’t escape this hell
So many times i’ve tried
But I’m still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

Aside from a rude comment by some “Lala” All the comments I received were so reassuring. I would really like to acknowledge that all those comments were deeply appreciated and they have helped me open my eyes to a few things, mainly the need to feel happy. Thank you.

The irony in the entry below lies in the fact that my mother read all the entries currently visible on the front page of my blog. Maybe the entries should have been private for that reason, but it is my blog, and I feel I have a right to write what I know and feel. I must admit it was difficult having my mother quote lines like, “[You] want to kill yourself every other day?” but we talked about it. Of course I only touched up on some of the reasons causing me to be “emo,” but I felt I owed her a bit of an explanation. As it turns out my 10-year old brother also read the two top entries [The Meaning In Makeup and Drown Your Thoughts] – aloud. He read them aloud to me. It was like torture. Then he gave me the cutest sad little face and asked, “Do you really want to kill yourself?” I was a bit speechless, to say the least. Ironic that the one time I feel the urge to express myself publicly, my mother reads my entries.

Anyway, on Wednesday at noon, mother and I drove to Mexico. I must say I think it’s the first time in a long time she and I have gone anywhere together without my little brother. Bonding time, you could call it. We arrived at around 2pm and ate lunch there, then took a nap in our hotel room, woke up to watch a little TV, then went to dinner for coffee and cake. When we went back to the room we watched more TV. Haha. We watched shows that we wouldn’t ordinarily bother to watch or take the time to appreciate here at home. People had been calling me all day, but because of the bad reception and the switching over of cellphone providers in Mexico I wasn’t able to hear anything until about 11pm when David and Pedro both called me at the same time. So we conference-talked and agreed to meet at my house at 8am the next day [today]. So, my mom, being understanding started driving back home at 11:30pm. We got back home at 1:30am. Hah, we spent a random 9 hours in Mexico. I love how random my family is. ♥

Today is David’s birthday. He’s finally 17, that young`n!! Haha. So he arrived at my house at 8am and Pedro got to my house at 8:30am. From there we went to deposit some money into my bank account and then we went to breakfast at some place none of us had eaten at before. I can’t even remember the name, but they had a lot of pies there. We ate, but we were too full to eat any pie. Aww. Then we went to the movie theater. 🙂 We watched Lady in the Water and John Tucker Must Die. Before I go on reviewing the movies I must make note that manyyy scary movies are coming out soon. I’m so excited!! I LOVE horror movies. Haha. 😀

Anyway, here’s what one critic said of the Lady in the Water:

Chicago Sun-Times, Jim Emerson
“…who am I to knock the work of the man who, in his own film, casts himself as a writer whose ideas will inspire a future leader who will save the world…”

Oh, goodness. Lady in the Water is quite possibly one of the suckiest movies ever. I cannot even begin to describe how stupid it was. Just don’t watch it. If you already have, I’m sorry. As for John Tucker Must Die… I LOVED it. I was laughing so much!! It was great. It’s not one of those pointless teenage movies, but it’s pretty damn funny. The ending was a bit, “Whaaaa?” at first, but after thinking it over it was very appropriate and just great~!

We went to Vegas like two weeks ago, but my mom is going again this weekend. I can’t go because I have to work on both Friday and Saturday and I’ve been there too many times in my lifetime already. I’ll be spending time with my Auntie Meme on Saturday morning, though!! I have not hung out with her since I moved out and returned to my mother’s house. Awww, I miss her so much, even though we’ve seen each other every weekend. Haha, but I miss spending just-us-time. 😀

So take a chance.

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12 Comments

  1. I really have to go on vacation more often 😛 You’re lucky you have a random family. Happy Birthday, David! lol. I want to see John Tucker Must Die, but it would be ackward watching it with my mom o_0

  2. It wasnt a rude comment stated in the comment before I was simply asking a question if people cant do that now-a-days without being posted in a blog thinking its going to get their point across then whoop-de-do I have a blog too, but im not going to stoop to your level and put your name in my blog. Look your older but Im more mature… how sad

  3. Ok reading this whole entire blog, it seems that you have a lot of issues to deal with in your life. I read a couple of lines in all the other blogs also, killing yourself, I’ve been there before. You know I witnessed an actual suicide happen. My bestfriend Jason Keyas right in front of my face. I know that you may think that if would take all the pain off of you, but do you realize the pain that would par-take on everyone else? I am sorry for asking you if you were bulimic or whatever because I didnt know what you were going through until, you put me into a position I WAS already. Trust me, though you may meet people you dislike, like myself LOL once your gone, thats another reason their going to be happy, their going to say ‘I won’ and you want to win. Live your life in debt of what anyone else wants to say about or to you. I hope and wish you the best of luck with your life….

    With Loads Of Love Lala I less then 3 you (

  4. Ah! And a good quote from TDG! What a wonderful way to start out an entry. 😛 I am sorry aobut all the stuff going on with you, though I know you’ve heard that plenty of time by now. My current site is a revision of my old one because I found out my whole family reads it. 🙁 I truly hope they don’t find my new one!

    PS I resent the fact that you call a size 4 disgusting. Some of us are just tall and haven’t been 0s since 6th grade! LOL jk!

  5. Sorry for the double comment, but in retrospect, I shouldn’t put in open bracket-thingies anymore. XD There’s more to my comment above.

  6. Aaaand, for THAT reason, my bloggie is semi-anonymous~ kekeke… My family has never read my other blogs before, though. I was gonna ask why your mom knows the link, but then I figured: Duh! She pays for your domain~ ^^;; Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with expressing how you really feel~

    I love spontaneous trips! Mexico, huh? Must’ve been quite a drive… x.x

    So… Did they kill him? John Tucker, I mean..

  7. little brothers are so cute (i am saying this from a comepletely cluless pint of view as i have no little brother) i wish i had one.

    i wanted to watch lady in the water and john tucker must die too! but then i wimped out of lady in the water and i haven’t gotten around to watching john tucker must die yet.

    i’ve never been to mexico, but i would really really love to go some day.

  8. Aw maybe it is good that your mother and brother read those enteries though, so they know what you are going through and how you feel. Goodluck to you on that 🙂 Wow she took you to Mexico? That is random, but it sounds like you had a nice time 😀 I havent seen Lady in the Water and err aftering reading that review I doubt I will lol.

  9. Hey there! Just wanted to let you know that I think your site is awesome 😀 Very nice layout, and well organized! Keep up the great work! xo

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