MonthNovember 2006

Remember To Feel Real

I stood there anticipating his arrival with a smile on my face. He walked toward me with the cutest pink shirt that did well to flatter his gorgeous, soft lips. The first hug felt awkward because I wasn’t entirely sure he wanted a hug, so soon. In the car I could scarcely focus on the lights and sights. His lips were tempting, but his hand intertwined with mine sufficed for a while. We had dinner at The Yardhouse where I amusingly ordered for him. Ah, I like to order for people.

The next day we went to Disneyland. Tiring. But so worth it.

Thanksgiving was rather interesting. We sat outside and star-gazed for a long while. It was fun pointing at stars we could only faintly see. Despite the cold air, he kept me rather warm and content. Dinner was delicious. I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was nice and well, too.

Friday we spent the time together, doing nothing together. I enjoyed it very much. Elizabeth came over for a little while before we left to drop him off at the airport. A nice, brief goodbye. I liked that best. It was by no means definite.

And life goes on.

Underneath This Smile

Staying on the phone until 3am with the man you love is the best experience ever. ♥ I remember every word you said.

Extended metaphors are fun. It dawned on me yesterday after AP English. My conclusion was written by the end of lunch, and I rather like it. Brian Han congratulated me after class today (because we read our conclusions aloud). Han is the coolest kid around. :] He always pats my head when he sees me. I feel like his little sister. He’s so awesome!!

On Friday, I went to Downtown Disney for dinner at Rainforest. It was delicious, AND I got the cutest light-up cup ever. Looking into the cup as I drank felt like I was either looking at club lights or having a seizure. We walked around quite a bit. I got 3 Sephora lipglosses, and Mom and I got matching jackets. Haha. Admit it, it’s cool.

J-school, on Saturday, was fun. We had a test on chapter 2 and I think I did very well. I stayed up until 2am (Saturday morning) studying so the material on the test was a breeze. I made so many flashcards for phrases we need to know. I just hope I keep practicing because I have a terrible memory. Heh.

This entry is boring. Who am I?

Empty Glasses

Half Empty, Half Full, I never got a glass.

This was definitely a homework-filled week. I didn’t get very much sleep the whole week. At 9pm last night I went to go bother my little brother and within 10 minutes we fell asleep together! I woke up at 4am to remove my contacts and then I rushed back to sleep with him again. ^_^

I once said, “I am not profound” on a blog entry as my last sentence, but sometimes I want to take that back. A certain something in me yearns to philosophize. In AP Eng a student asked, “What does it take to be called a philosopher?” We started joking that all it takes is for someone to sit on their couch and just THINK. Or, “try majoring in philosophy. You won’t get paid for anything, but you can still get called a philosopher.” Of course all it takes is profound thinking and publishing your thoughts about the meaning of life. Hah, no easy task right?

Are you bulletproof?

School has taken its toll these last three years. As my last year nears I just want to stop trying. Haha, I’m trying to find “smart” ways of excusing my senioritis, but there aren’t any. Unless! I begin to question the entire purpose of trying so hard in the first place. Albert Camus said, “An achievement is a bondage. It obliges one to a higher achievement.” In this current lethargic state, I wholly concur.

The talks with my love, Eric, just get better and better. Together, we have amazing conversations. I just love that man. Patience, patience. Something. ♥ ♥ ♥

And I’ll tell you I love you (I’ll take it again)
(Just give me the chance, I’ll take it again)
Say it again

You’ve become a part of me.

Missing Frames

I wrote this a few months ago. For some reason I deny the fact that they’re words of meaning (to me) and are just plain words of fiction.

“This is an unexpected turn of events. I feel like speaking out and expressing so much that has been supressed for so long. These aren’t my words; it’s too quiet here. My name doesn’t matter and age is a stereotype. You will learn about me through my reactions, otherwise known as my biased written words; anything I say could be a string of lies, but I ask you this: have I any reason to lie?

“Will you read my like a book, read through the lines, or take everything at face value? Figure me out like a puzzle. I’ll certainly give you the pieces. I dare you to try.”

I have nothing more to say or add to that. Too much time has passed to explain why ever I wrote that.

Your eyes still try to search for mine, but I look away.