December 1. College applications for UCs are all turned in. Jackie’s b-day. Day before I take a few more SAT IIs. Friday.

The entire week I’ve been more apathetic than ever I have been before. Simply, I don’t give a damn. About anything. If I prayed, I would pray to die in my sleep. Oh but this sounds entirely too morbid, and that’s never been my style. Oh, like it’s a statement. What am I talking about?! I feel slightly delusional. Why must I be so miserable? The reason lies undefined.

I took it upon myself to bake cookies twice this week. Cooking is rather enjoyable, I find. I made my little brother breakfast and dinner on Wednesday. The only problem with me cooking is that I don’t like to eat what I make; I prefer watching others enjoy it. This leaves me a little food-less, but I don’t want to stop cooking. I’ve always been more of a baker, though.

Calamity. That’s one of my favorite words. I wonder why. *scoffs*

Hm, he’s gone. Navy basic training. I want letters, soon. ♥ Letter-writing used to be so romantic. Now, we have email. What happened to this world? Even to exchange a few words with my family, we email each other. I find it amusing. Do they not have pen or paper where you are ’cause I haven’t heard from you in ages.

December. This is going to be another one of those crappy winters, just like the one of 2004 (and I make no reference to weather, here). Hello, depression! I welcome you back with open arms. Yesyes, I still hate myself.

Warn your warmth to turn away.

4 thoughts on “Decemberunderground

  1. Hmm I hope you feel better! And I know exactly what you mean with the whole emailing thing. The world’s become soo technological lately. Like even my classes at school (they’re not even online courses)l are evolving with us having message boards for class discussions and submitting papers online. But yeah, anyways, sorry I’m late! I didn’t get a chance to go through my despair email until now. I’ve been busy busy!

  2. Sorry to hear you feel down, hope you will feel better very soon.

    You know, I never stopped writing letters, I love it! It’s much more romantic like you said. I still remember how I wrote bunch of letters and poems to my (ex)girlfriend. She loved it ;p Besides, it’s cheaper, it will only cost you a stamp, inkt is much more expensive ;p

  3. You know, I have to say that I can totally empathize with you. This week, I haven’t given a damn about anything. I just did exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it – No matter what the consequence. Somehow I landed an awesome job. ^_^ But I also broke up with my boyfriend of four years, which I don’t really know what to feel about. So I don’t. Care. At all.

    I always get more depressed/anxious during the winter. I hope you have someone you can talk to about what’s bothering you. That always makes me feel a just little bit better about things.

    I take online college classes from Phoenix, and I live in NY. Computers have pretty much eliminated the need for pen and paper. They’re still a guilty pleasure of mine though.

  4. yay i feel the same way about cooking! It’s so much fun and i love it when others like the taste!!

    Ohhh my sister submitted her college apps as well last week….she is so happy right now ^____________^ hahahah~

    STOP saying that you hate yourself!!!! ::HUUUUUUUUUUUUG::!!!!

    hey you have flickr too!!! im gonna add you~

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