Heart-Strutter.org

Do you like leaks? I have Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High and Bayside’s The Walking Wounded albums already. The difference being that I hate Fall Out Boy and I love Bayside. I already pre-ordered my Bayside CD along with Anberlin’s Cities. Ugh, I hate Pete’s (from FOB) attitude toward their album leak. Pete says:

Our job is to put out records and tour and make music. What are we gonna do? Sit at the plant and watch everybody? Some guy working minimum wage, why would he care how it affects us? It’s a multi-pronged thing.

This could be the worst leak in the history in music, if you think that every year computers, iPod, internet music grows exponentially and we’re probably one of the biggest bands in rock music on the internet.

How f_cking conceited is that? They ought to appreciate that anyone listens to their music at all. Honestly, the reason I don’t like FOB is because the vocals and instruments give me a headache. I truly attempted to listen to their old stuff, but I just couldn’t take it. As for the new album, it sounds unlike them. But trust me, it’s nothing special at all. Argh, I mean come on, Pete… it’s not about the money. F_cking minimum wage… arghh! I could just slap him.

As for the Bayside leak, I’m on the Bayside Street Team message board and Anthony personally said that if we go to concerts, buy the cd, and just give our support, they don’t care if we have the leak. I’ve already got my copy lined up, so I’m all set! One of the two main reasons I don’t buy music from iTunes is that I lovelovelove cover art and the booklets. I NEED to own CDs. (: But … still, FOB needs to step down from that pedestal. Bayside’s album is waaaay better. They’re such an underrated band that’s been overlooked. I recommend you look into them if you haven’t already.

I made a new myspace just to promote Bayside. (: My AIM away message and profile advertise Bayside, and etc. I honestly love these guys. :]

Concerts I’m going to:

2/13: Three Days Grace w/ Flyleaf @ House of Blues
2/23: Dir en Grey w/ Fair to Midland @ The Wiltern
3/10: My Chemical Romance @ The Forum
3/13: Bayside♥ & Anberlin♥ w/ Jonezetta and Meg&Dia @ El Rey Theatre
4/13: Relient K @ The Avalon

Do you like leaks? I have Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High and Bayside’s The Walking Wounded albums already. The difference being that I hate Fall Out Boy and I...

Kuno Becker is gorgeous. And typically I don’t like hispanic guys, but Kuno is a very rare exception!!

I just finished watching Goal! starring Kuno Becker. (: I first started crushing on him around 1999, when I was 10 years old, in a telenovela (Spanish soap opera) he was in: Soñadoras.

Okay, so I’ve been posting lots of pictures to compensate for my lack of words.

Now this is Ichihara Hayato, one of the cutest Japanese actors, evAr. He came out in the J-drama Water Boys 2, and a movie called All About Lily Chou-Chou.

Today, I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. My mother works for Kaiser Permanente, so the expenses are all covered. I love my Mother’s job. I want to work for Kaiser as a psychiatrist when I get older. :] I need to learn to speak again. The silence is only so calming. Words used to be my friend. Fear is taking over at my loss for words.

I’ve almost attained ultimate happiness. So close, but never close enough.

Kuno Becker is gorgeous. And typically I don’t like hispanic guys, but Kuno is a very rare exception!! I just finished watching Goal! starring Kuno Becker. (: I first started...

“Sam, you’re always going to be the guy at the restaurant, who, when he gets what he ordered, decides he wants what the other guy has instead.” — Movie quote from Picture Perfect.

I’m like Sam, except I’m a girl. I’ll speak in numbers to help explain myself. If 1 likes 2, then I like 2. Basically, I have this need to be liked. I must be liked. And anyway, I’m affable. Once, in ninth grade, I found out that this one kid didn’t like me because I always spoke up in class and “knew all the answers.” I made it a point to speak to him, made him my partner for a project, and got him to be my friend. I can’t accept that not everyone is going to like me. But why this need to be liked by #2′s? Why do I like 2′s? Gah. It’s so strange. I want to be #2′s friend; #2 seems interesting, at least for now, while #1 likes #2. Grr. Am I making any sense?!

Still, I lack words. I’ve been too happy lately. Give me something profound to ponder.

I heart my glasses. Let’s make this revised version of the peace sign famous.

“Soon the rain will wash away the sun, as I melt with you, I AM GHOST.“

“Sam, you’re always going to be the guy at the restaurant, who, when he gets what he ordered, decides he wants what the other guy has instead.” — Movie quote...

I got a new computer yesterday. Funfun. :] It’s an HP Pavilion m7640n. The very geeky details are here. I love it! My mom got a new laptop last weekend, too. My brother feels left out. :bummed: I’m thinking of giving him the graphics card on my other HP so he can feel better.

I got my hair dyed black on Thursday. Of all the colors, it’s the one color I’ve just never had. And because I’m a silly kind of picture-taking emo girl, I’ve provided pictures. Lots and lots of pictures to make up for my lack of words.

Before going to the salon. I love my curls.

Two days after getting it dyed. Pre-straightening. I love taking pictures of myself with my hair in funny ponytails. (:

Straightened. Lovely green contacts.

You might have a preference in colors (before or after), but that’s not the point. I really liked my brown and blonde-highlighted hair, but it’s time for change. I hang out with Jackie for a week and my hair is suddenly black. They’re not related, I promise. I love♥ Jackie:

So listen up: this is the end.

I got a new computer yesterday. Funfun. :] It’s an HP Pavilion m7640n. The very geeky details are here. I love it! My mom got a new laptop last weekend,...

I feel stressed and apathetic all at once. I’ve been incredibly bored this weekend. I’m at my Auntie Elle’s house right now. Finally I’m out of the house. It feels like there isn’t anything to do at home anymore. And yet, I have no motivation to socialize.

Favio, Mom, little brother Chris, and I went to San Pedro for breakfast&lunch. It was freezing cold out there so I let my little brother wear my army-colored jacket and he took off his big sweater. We traded; I looked “gangster” with his sweater and he looked “emo” with the hood of my jacket on. (: Role reversal.

“Life is like photography.
It’s the negatives that make you develop.”
– Victoria

I love Rocky movies. They touch my heart.

I’m not feeling very nice. I do not tolerate false accusations. Two apologies within a few days from two people. And I don’t really care. Details, details, details. That’s something I don’t have.

Words are meaningless right now. I hate talking be it on the phone, in person, or through IMs. E.H. keeps calling me. I tell him I don’t feel like talking and so then Friday night he sent me a text saying, “When you kill yourself be sure to let me know so I can help.” He’s such an ass. Sometimes I feel bad for him so I want to be his friend, and the other times I absolutely find him annoying. When Sarah introduced me to her friends I never knew I would be this involved.

I regret ever being E.H.’s best friend (although it was for only a short period of time). Hm, and as for Ryan, I absolutely love that man. But that’s no good either. I don’t like trusting people. Currently, I don’t want any friends. It’s too much to deal with. I feel bad if I can’t get online to talk to him, and I feel stupid for emailing him two or three times a night (2-4am my time) if he’s asleep, with thoughts of mine. I’ve lost, but I don’t want to win.

Things are getting progressively worse with my mother daily. We had about two and a half months of Calm. It always disintegrates in the end.

I love my green contacts. They give me a boost of confidence. It’s funny how a simple change of appearance makes people feel uplifted. Vanity♥

As I watch Rocky II, I have a very blasé attitude about everything. It’ll pass in time, or maybe I’ll just crash under the pressure. Time. What if time isn’t circular, but occuring all at once?

I’m trying to fit a square into a circle.

I feel stressed and apathetic all at once. I’ve been incredibly bored this weekend. I’m at my Auntie Elle’s house right now. Finally I’m out of the house. It feels...