I.

I thought of this as I was trying to sleep, but at 11pm, I had only been awake for 14 hours that day so I had lots of time to think:

I’m conceited. I’m selfish. I have gorgeous skin. I ruined my skin. I’m inconsiderate. I’m so considerate. I want to design. I can’t design. I’m lacking motivation. I  have all the motivation in the world. I want to write. I have no ideas. My head is brimming with ideas. I’m a terrible friend. I’m an amazing friend. I’m happy. I’m miserable. I’m gorgeous. I’m disgusting. I don’t want to write. I’m so afraid. I’m fearless. I’m confident. I have low self-esteem. I have nothing to lose. I have everything to lose. I’m optimistic. I’m pessimistic. I want to sleep. I never want to sleep again. I love. I hate. I love compliments. I hate compliments. I’m sinking. I’m floating. I’m guilty. I’m innocent. I’m quiet. I’m loud. I’m hyper. I’m serious. I’m silly. I’m a professional recluse. I’m outgoing. I’m apathetic. I’m too caring. I don’t mind. I mind, quite a bit. I’m edge. I used to cut with an edge. I’m falling down. I jumping right back up. I’m attractive. I’m hideous. I want. I can’t. I shan’t. As you sleep, no one is listening… close your eyes.

It’s funny, when you find the words to say, you find no reply.

Incinerate what’s left of this.
I smell the sulfur so clear,
And fire is a beautiful sound

One thought on “I.

  1. It’s really good to see you writing again. You should keep it up even though it might seem at times that you’re fresh out of inspirations. I just keep on writing about anything and everything that passes by at the most unconvienent time, that’s where all of my stuff comes from.

    I see you’ve come to terms with your dualities. It was a frightening moment, wasn’t it? To find out that after all this time, you’re still only half as good as you’d like to be, but there’s still that other half lurking around somewhere deep inside. It only comes out to play when the lights go out and the people aren’t watching closely enough. I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve been there and that that moment was only frightening on the surface. If you dig deeper, there’s more to it than you’d ever like to find, but no one goes that deep anymore, except for me. I always like to unearth all sorts of insanities. It kills time.

    Wow, I don’t know where I’m going with this, but anyway I wish you a great day if you aren’t already having an awesome day.

    -J

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