These topics have never escaped my mind in part because I told myself I didn’t care, don’t care, and that they definitely don’t matter. I’m only bothered by a few of them, still. I get over things too quickly. I’m still wondering if these topics are even worth mentioning. I rarely even mention them to myself. Denial? Nah. I pretend to be oblivious. That’s definitely the safest way to keep it. Still, still… I don’t want to unearth or accept these sad facts.
I’m looking for a friend. Someone I can confide in fully. It can be anyone, really! But, as I try harder and harder to trust one person the less I want to trust them. I’ve tried several people, but I get upset at all of them. __ never said anything, __ knows too much already, __ doesn’t understand, __ and I no longer really truly talk, __ is too new (but so far, I don’t trust). There’s an excuse for everyone as to why they’re not the one person I want to confide in. Well, it’s not surprising, as I find it difficult to express myself anyway. By the looks of it, this entry is already far too ambiguous, meaning this isn’t the entry in which I reveal what I’ve long left unsaid. And my muscles ache.
Green tea is soothing. Nevermind, this is a crappy entry. Nothing has yet been divulged.
Fuck. I hate being the stranger
“I can’t pretend a stranger is a long-awaited friend.”
I fucking hate that quote.