…the safest place to hide

It feels much better to know that you won’t feel a thing.
Well don’t talk about it;
Write it down but don’t ask for help.
I can’t be honest with even myself.
Did you ever wish you were somebody else?

This is how I lead my life. I will continually be better able to express my emotion in words written to no one in particular [blog]. And then this morning I betrayed a hidden part of myself to someone. And it makes me feel sick. Hopefully I can stop at the point in which I did and all confessionals of mine forgotten soon. Though I hate to admit it, I rather be seen as a “cute-sy” naive little girl, than let anyone in on the real me.

I almost just want to make an all-lyrics entry. You know, I can just quote all the lyrics that represent how I feel, but that would be the easier way of getting out of explaining myself.

Honestly, I’m only blogging because of the blogathon, but I don’t have anything of substance to say. Today started off very well, and I seem sort of apathetic right now. On the bright side, I got Paramore’s Riot and Circa Survive’s On Letting Go in the mail today from Bestbuy.com.  Alright, so I’m a little late in getting those CDs, but it’s only because I need to take some ACTION in listening to new music that will serve to inspire me.

When you open up
You let yourself seem vulnerable
And the morning sun
Will make our bodies comfortable
In taking off your clothes
Everything hidden is suddenly exposed

You’ll keep it on the inside
‘Cause that’s the safest place
‘Cause that’s the safest place to hide

Interestingly enough, two unexpected people called me today; Valerie and E.H. called. Like always the latter called to ask for my opinion on the very same topic he always asks about. My opinion will not change, so I don’t understand the redundancy in asking me continually. The former called to ask how I’m doing. My response? Read my blog. I rely too heavily on what I write. I can’t bring myself to say anything — it’s just too hard to express myself.

For FSSP, both towers are playing Ninjas vs. Pirates. It’s kinda fun doing the safeties and trying to walk discreetly in the halls to make sure the person that needs to attack you isn’t hanging around the corner. It’d be very easy to attack the person I have, but I haven’t really made any attempts. She’s too far away; she’s on a far away floor in the other tower. Hahah.

So today I fixed Hailey’s laptop. And I am now realizing that I only ate once today, but that’s okay. “Billy’s” letter got sent out today. Yesterday, I sent out Linda’s. I’m waiting for Elizabeth’s letter, which will hopefully be longgg. I have resumed my “exercises”, but not as much as I used to. In steps! XD; I’m doing half of what I used to do… emo. Anyway, some is better than none. David and Hailey spent the greater part of the day in my room, and that was fun. Not too much else.
This entry is rather random, and I’m sleepy already. No, it’s more like I’m just too depressed to keep forcing these thoughts. Twitter is awesome. Everyone should at least consider joining. I enabled it on my cell, too, so now I can describe what I’m doing at all times of the day, even on-the-go. (:

My love is mutilation.

Now playing: Circa Survive – The Difference Between Medicine And Poison Is In The Dose
via FoxyTunes

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