- Trying to get some shit on WordPress to work. Ughh. #
- Running errands with David. #
- Hearing David’s shocking news. #
- Took out my lip ring for the first time ever just to wash the whole thing. Cray cray & epic #
- Watching Ned Kelly. Kinda worried about something… #
- Oh so grossed out! They just ate a raw horse along with its blood. Makes me wanna go vegetarian! #
- Laughing cus he got shot in his penis. #
- Chatting with @Rona1. Just hung up with Matthew dear. Feeling emo ‘cus idk where any of my wires are and my cell is gonna die. ): #
- Realizing that I have come to embrace my lil’ kiddie voice. @Rona1 and I are discussing how our voices sound. Lmao. <3pumpkindear. #
- Going to PostSecret, then gonna read a few LJ Secrets. #
- Bored, with nothing to do. Sitting on the couch thinking I need to go take my pills, but I’m too cold to move/get up. #
The sudden urge to write again has struck.
Strangely, my thoughts are all a jumble, and yet so clear when I take a shower. The hot water fogged up the glass of the shower, but not the mirror. And the mirror is on the door to the bathroom, in front of the shower. I stared at my reflection momentarily, but found nothing interesting in my own gaze looking back at me. Streams and streams of thoughts poured down on my body; I could barely stand it. Happy memories, miserable memories – they brought me down to my knees to the floor of the shower. I cradled my head in my hands and leaned toward the glass. I almost wanted the thoughts to stop, but I couldn’t control them. Before I got out of the shower I resolved to turn the hot water off and leave the cold water running. I did it slowly so that the shock of the cold water wouldn’t burn. I stood there for 10 minutes. It was coldest when the water trickled down my face, and down my stomach. I hugged my body for a while until I finally realized there was no purpose to what I was doing. It wasn’t a test of will or anything, and I don’t know why I did it, but I do it often; I go from extremely hot water to cold.
Now that I’ve left the shower all the thoughts that were going through my head are gone and I haven’t the faintest idea what I was recalling. My memory is broken.
This entry was entirely pointless because I can’t write about what I was thinking for those 40 minutes.
I hope it rains tonight.
Yesterday was harsh… so very harsh. I spent hours trying to configure two WordPress blogs on Heart-Strutter.org. I had to change database names, change folder permissions, change the .htaccess, make a new .htaccess… it was rather stressful! And then finally after both blogs got to working I couldn’t upload a photo I wanted because the max file size was too small. Frustrating, really. I have no idea how to change the max upload file size on WordPress. Some suggested adding some things to the .htaccess, but as soon as I did it broke both blogs.
Anyway, here’s the photoblog I’m talking about: 365. I haven’t uploaded all the photos I want yet because of all the technical issues! I’ll get to it. (: Two images a day. They’re for Project 365 and Flickr 365 Portrait-A-Day challenges. I hope I can keep up!! I’m doing well on the blogging, too.
The only thing keeping me awake is love.
I can’t bother explaining, but I think I’m going to sleep soon. Sometimes it’s hard to know when I’m sleepy and when my contacts are just bothering me. In a way there are things to do, and it’s not that I don’t want to, but I fear reading or watching a movie will put me to sleep. I started coding the next layout of Heart-strutter a little bit ago, but I don’t want to rush it too much so I will continue it later today, at a better hour.
Just a few more site modifications and I’m going to sleep.