DayApril 4, 2008

The Curse Of The Sun

Dear Elizabeth,

We haven’t written each other letters in quite a while. Funny I should be writing you one now as I just reread the one you wrote me during 11th grade (the one we had to put in an envelope to receive a year later). The reason I’m writing you a letter is because I can tell you anything (right?) and it seems appropriate to write this directed towards you. A lot’s on my mind.

I had lunch with Rona, Meg, and some other girl (but I always forget her name), at Ortega. With the exception of Rona, we all talked about anime&manga and the anime expo. Haha… it was sort of funny and very reminiscent of my younger years. I still haven’t watched any anime is over a year. Maybe two years. And when I pass the large section of manga at Borders there is simply no desire in me to go over there and buy any. Anyway, it was a pleasant lunch. I had to leave a few minutes before the other three girls because I had class, but as I did I ran into someone I met earlier in the school year. His name is Tibi. He used to be friends with my ex-roommate Sharon. We smiled, and made small talk, but he seemed to feel slightly awkward. Granted we were both just about to leave so it was just one of those surprise “Wow, interesting to run into you here” kind of moments. His friend Tyler is still my friend and I eat with him from time to time or we just stop to chat. Tyler had said we would have dinner some time, but when we scheduled it I was busy with ASPB so that didn’t work out. I mentioned it to Tibi and he seemed kinda like, “wtf… uhm, but yeah okay dinner some time!” That made it a little more awkward. Anyway, then we walked separate ways and I headed to Philosophy.

I stopped by the office to see if Colton was in there, but he wasn’t so then I just headed to class knowing we’d meet up there instead. As always, the class was fascinating! And lol… Luke likes to speak up. He brought up an economics term: the law of diminishing returns, and I was all <3 aww high-school days and Econ, and Mr. Glasser! So that was pretty tight, you know? Anyway, loveee Phil 100A. My early morning class Phil 3 isn’t quite as interesting because it’s more about logic and arguments and shit. It’s all weird&shit, but not boring, just complicated. XD haha…

As I was leaving Phil with Colton I ran into another old friend, Omar. He was my ex-roommate’s old lab partner (but she shit-talked him all the time, that bitch), though I hung out with him more than she did ‘cus he’s friends with Sam (another guy friend, also was Sharon’s friend)… but anyway! I waved and smiled at Omar and he barely glanced at me and nodded his head. That’s totally not how we would hang back in fall quarter. =\ This was slowly starting to depress me because I can’t possibly have lost all these friends just because of the lie I’m almost positive Sharon told them both. Ugh, the funny thing is that Sharon didn’t like Sam, Omar, or Tibi, AT ALL! She was always saying how annoying or whatevz they were. Seriously, she’s such a bitch. But not like you or me status. We’re funny bitchy. She’s … bitchy in a way that makes me sad just ‘cus she’s so fucked up to people behind their backs.

After parting ways with Colton I got my iPhone out and called back Ryan. I had missed his call earlier while I was in math. When math was over I called him, but he didn’t answer so I just left a voicemail. Two hours later I was like, hmm might as well just try calling back, right? Anyway, I did. And he answered this time, but I think he was hanging out with his girlfriend Cassie because he sounded so distant and uncomfortable. Instinctively I was just like, “Can you talk or uh… do you need to go?” He paused for a second and just said, “Yeah I need to go.” Dude, am I listening too closely?! I feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but it bothers me that his girlfriend doesn’t let him talk to me. You fucking swear like I’m going to poison his mind or something. She’s the waaaay waaaay jealous type. Lol… what’s the deal?

As I was going back to my dorm what with the sky all gloomy … I was just a little too reflective and sad about all of this. Most of all how Omar didn’t even PRETEND to be friendly, you know? Keeping up with my gangstah talk here, I feel totally dissed. As a fucking… like “sensitive woman” (lmfao) I was actually pretty hurt. Like what the fuck you know? Frustrating!

This is turning into a really long letter, but that’s how we roll, fo’ sho. (: haha, I’m honestly trying to type this the way we kinda talk to each other when we’re not being 100% serious. Adding the realism! ;] (*awkward mustache!*) Ahahaha… That shit’s tight. Everyone’s caught on to it.

Mm, I’m still not taking my pills. It’s very tempting to go make an appointment with Alfredo to let him know and ask for his opinion, but I haven’t told him yet and I don’t really feel like sitting in anyone’s office/room for an hour. I’m so over it. Don’t really know why, but some days/sometimes it feels like dude, yeah I’m fuckin’ aites so far and other times there’s a strange underlying sadness that doesn’t always make its presence known. (When we talk on the phone tonight ask me about pillz. Funny story!) Maybe I just think too much. Lalalala whateverz. Just don’t think about it -> saying that to myself.

I love you, Elizabeth! Looking forward to your call tonight. We haven’t talked on the phone for like two weeks ‘cus of that whole me being slightly annoyed during break. Hahaha. Ttyl, my love! ;]