Vast Ocean

I have to drown.

It’s funny how typing anything in JDarkRoom makes everything seem that much more dramatic. I love it.

Every day I write. Every day. In my red moleskine, in JDarkroom, on my blog. Do I get a different kind of perspective on life because I write about it?

Last night I talked to Elizabeth on the phone for almost an hour… I don’t know, her advice isn’t very applicable and just doesn’t work for me. Really I can’t bring myself to tell her, “Uh whaaa? That makes no sense.” And then sometimes she’s sort of demeaning. It’s unintentional, I’m positive. It’s just that the person I rely on to tell me some good stuff kinda just like insta-fails. ;(

New goal: For a week be decisively detached. Starting today. If I miss someone (aside from family) I completely refuse to text them randomly just to say hi. The only reason to text anyone is if I need to legitimately tell them or ask them something. That will be my stance for a week. It’s actually going to be harder than it sounds and it already sounds hard to me.

I applied for the AS Main Office so long ago… and I’m not even going to get interviewed. And Nefi is. I wasn’t trying to help her get a job, I was trying to get a job myself. WTF. Admittedly I will be working at the MCC starting fall quarter, but as a poor college student with an awful paying job (aspb) that only pays at the end of the quarter I need any other income I can get. Gah. Seriously.

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