DayAugust 18, 2008

Are You Afraid When You’re Alone?

For the first time in a long time I acted ~real~ (as opposed to fake). It happened this weekend when Chita and Piale arrived from Downey to hang out with David. You’d figure I’d be real with my friends, the ones I hang out with all the time, but I’m not…

Not even once have I betrayed any of my insecurities to any of them, and they don’t really know just how depressed I get, the things I stress over, etc. It’s especially with Sandy that I’m worried. She shares quite a lot with me… but I can’t ever get rid of my fake voice and fake thoughts with her. I just can’t. And I don’t know what it is. =\ It bothers me because if she doesn’t know me, well… then who does? (Besides Elizabeth) Like… yo, nobodyyyy.

Am I worried? Not overly. Is it worth thinking about? Yeah, probably. Will I change? Chances, no.

As a side note: Bonding with a drunk person while entirely sober is reaaaal awkward. And it sucks them not remembering the next morning either. *shrugs*

Oh em gee. Only a few more days of Japanese left. I am ECSTATIC. My brain is sooo tired. And today Kobayashi-sensei asked all of us how many hours we slept and it ranged from 3 to 6. Like damn. And we are all there from 8am to 12:20pm. It’s a damn harsh world. I actually got 6 hours!! (: So I was waaay awake and bumpin’. Didn’t even need coffee today~ YEEEAH. That’s tight, homie. Forreal.

OH MAN. I am depressed, officially. But I keep myself busy!!! Can’t stop to think about it. At least not until Japanese is over. ^_^ Right now is crunch time. Fo’ sho man. 4 more days. And one whole chapter. And a final. And an oral interview. This is gonna be daaaamn hectic…  but… once it’s over it’s over!!! *happyhappy*

Hmm… I already took a nap today, but I need to take another. And then I’ll wake up to do homework and study for the kanji quiz. I just can’t think right now. So sleeeeepy. z_z;