After a time – an indescribable amount of – there comes a point where people begin to blur. it’s a slow and steady blur, but it’s there. It’s … a strange singular blurry presence that is beginning to cloud over my vision of reality.
People are falling into categories. If you could hear my words now, well this would simply make more sense. In a way. Perhaps the lack of distinction amongst people is recent and so my words are not coming out … understandably. This notion of categories: what I mean is, an x amount of people all remind me of one another. And these people in group A could all have a single physical feature in common, or even a mannerism. I don’t know the requisites for each group but there they stand. Your names begin to fade. Your faces become one. And suddenly I don’t have an x amount of friends because they have faded. It’s getting harder for me to get your story straight. And what’s your name again? Oh, I was starting to think you all had the same name, were the same person, a group turned into one.
And no one individual is standing out to me as special. There is no sharpened figure amongst the blur.
My eyes are tired of looking at this big blur. I want to squint my eyes and look for the one person that seems different. The problem is, I’ve been looking too hard and now my eyesight is strained, tired, and nothing will ever look so clear to me as my memory of you. No one can compare, no one will ever compare. Everyone else adds to the blur, falls into another category of people.
Show me someone worthy of my attention.
Note: I don’t know. Most of this is true. I felt like writing it.
Except there has never been anyone special in my life to be so clear amongst the blur. This should be interpreted as wishful thinking. Or a failed attempt at an emotional release. I don’t know.
Take it as you will.