MonthJanuary 2009

Wait Time

Shit! I haven’t blogged in a while. I am falling behind on the online life… argh! That’s never really happened before but I’m just taking a quick step back from the computer recently. No longer do I feel any urge to go on AIM and Windows Live Messenger. There really isn’t anyone to talk to on there that I don’t already talk to/see daily. So I just sort of don’t sign on. Also, on Aelyria I am about two months behind on posts (uhm oh wow…). Seriously, I even neglect my RSS feeds, and now my blog! AH. Hot mess, all right.

The days are seriously ZOOMING by. That’s actually kind of scary. I’m already in week 4 of winter quarter and there are only 11 weeks. In less than 6 months I’m going to be a third year at UC Santa Barbara. And in just a littttle over a month I’m going to be 20. Everything’s coming at me way too fast! Mind you, I’ve been waiting forever to be done with college, waiting forever to get into my 20s (which I’m actually really excited about!!!)… but now time seems to be coming at me faster.

[Philosophical Side note: I personally believe time’s arrows travel <– this way and not the commonly held view that they travel –> like that. UHM… FUCK I have a Philosophy of Time and Space class and it’s totally tripping me out…]

You know, this domain hasn’t even had a layout change in a few months? And my other domain has never had a layout. Things are a hot busy mess online. And whereas before I didn’t care for facebook I’m on it a few times a week now as opposed to a few times a month. AH! Well it’s only natural since all my friends are on Facebook. *shrugs* Whatever.

Lately I hang out with my friends so much more. I only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays but they are so insanely busy it’s ridiculous! On Tuesdays I go seven hours straight without a break! Not even time to eat… ): By the time I’m done for the day on Tuesdays I just want to shoot myself and be done with it. Wednesday seems to disappear all the time with me sleeping in and doing all the homework/reading for class due Thursday. The four-day weekends are long… but they also just disappear and slip away.

People do say time moves faster as you get older. Why? Oh wait… DNW to think atm! On Friday afternoon I was even looking online at philosophy lectures from other universities. Geez. As if my brain didn’t hurt ENOUGH during the week. Honestly, if you’re trying to figure out how/why everything material only exists in the mind (view called Idealism by Berkeley)… it just HURTS. Professor Holden even lets us out 15 minutes early because it’s way too much to take in and grasp…! The class is 75 minutes and by the hour mark I feel my brain wanting to explode. But uh doesn’t stop there… I have to go to Time/Space next. Lol… never thought I’d experience brain pain, but I am proven wrong.

Another reason I suspect time is moving faster for me is because my thoughts lately, especially at night, have been racing NONSTOP. At one point I was trying to say four things at the same time and my roommate Rony just said, “What? Okay you’re saying too many things at the same time.” Then I realized I was cleaning at night, getting all OCD, shopping TOO much, and talking/thinking too fast. Ugh, so that’s why I’ve been too happy and yet still extra annoyed lately… (Hypomania????) But I swear it wasn’t always that. I’m pretty sure I was symptom-free for a good month or two. *Sigh* Can’t escape it! [I’m talking about my bipolar diagnosis]


Oh, I’ve been learning how to cook (somewhat)! Easy things, anyway. Skylar taught me how to make miso soup. Sandy taught me to make pupusas. And I learned how to make udon and (for the very first time) tried making pancakes!! (: It’s actually really fun to cook. Eating my own food is another matter, though. Once I know the process something went through to get cooked I don’t really feel like eating it anymore. Something about knowing the ingredients and just the process itself puts me off. =\ Not sure… I’ll try to get over it.

OH. Oh. Oh wow. Ugh… I’ve been getting all offended lately. GAH. Whatever. Over it. Been over it. I need to get over this shit like NOW. (UGH DAMNIT! When I use the word “now” it makes me think of a “moving now” and … my Time/Space class is messing with me!)

OKKKKK. Updation over. I haven’t written in my moleskine for a WHILE now. I should look into using it again because it is so fabulous. (:

Some High Class, And A Little Hooch

Alright I have to start off by saying that the veganism did not stick. More and more I found myself disagreeing with the vegan ideology. And so I hit it and quit it.

DSC03988.JPGLast weekend at The Water Grill was simply amazing!! For appetizers we had two different kind of oysters, and both were delicious! I didn’t really have a preference… they were just good! (I tried remember what kind of oysters they were but it’s been a while, it’s almost 3 in the morning and I can barely type…) And the bread was perfectttt. I could just like live off of bread, that’s how much I love it, so even though it may seem insignificant it’s very important to me to like my bread. Kay, and then for my first course I had White Chowder with Manila Clams, Weiser Farm Potatoes, and Niman Ranch Applewood Smoked Bacon. Deeeelicious! It was so creamy and flavorful; I loved it. Then for a main course I had Roasted Free Range Jidori Chicken Breast. Gooood stuff! And very seafood/meat oriented. If I was there at a really nice restaurant I might as well have enjoyed… hahaha.

Wicked was so entertaining and I really loved it. We sat in the orchestra section, near the stage, but not too close that you can’t see well. It was perfect! Oh goodness, I loved the songs and the storyline. (: Galinda was definitely my favorite just because she was so DARN cuuuute. For those that haven’t heard of Wicked, it was a musical playing at the Pantages theatre for quite a while, and it’s about the “Wicked Witch of the West” from The Wizard of Oz. It was the nicest thing and I’m so appreciative that I was able to go!

Anyway, I am back at my apartment in Santa Barbara by my college campus and let me tell you… even though I only have classes on two days of the week the days are jam-packed with reading and homework. It’s really very stressful… but at least I have four-day weekends to sort of catch up on reading I’m not able to complete during the week. But for sure I am ON IT with the reading… The stuff is really interesting. I’ll write an entire post on my classes soon though since I looove them so freaking much. (:

Alright tonight (or since it’s 3am, last night) my friends and I went to a semi-formal queer party at The Hub, on campus. I loooooved it! Sandy and I danced most of the time but other times I just mingled and danced with some queer boys or lesbians… lol. All I have to say is that a queer boy totally grabbed my vagina while we were dancing hahahaha… (*cough*SKYLAR*cough*). I totally know him… and geeeez he got a little too wild lmao… boy goes down all the way to the fucking floor. Hahaha. And then I danced with a tooon of other gay guys and some girls… including one girl named Carmen (the cutest Asian girl with a boy haircut), who took it upon herself to kiss me. lol. What a darn cutie. But blah… then I found out she’s slept with a friend of mine and then I was like UGH oh hell no. But anyway, besides that it was just so amazingly fun. I totally freak danced, which was a total first for me. It felt like everyone on the dance floor was just sexing it up with clothes on. xD But it was fun regardless so who cares! Ahhhh but I know I am going to be ridiculously sore later today… boooo. -_-;

Anyway, fun times!!!!! (: Ahhh and I went shopping yesterday, too. UGHHH I have a serious shopping addiction. It needs to be fixed, or I need to learn some self-control. Lol… ay.



Since Tuesday I’ve been a supposed vegan, until the end of January. I first watched some video about Veganism mid-December and since then was itching to get back to the apartment to do the whole vegan thing. And Rony, my vegetarian roommate decided to go along and do it with me. Alright so we got back to school and did all this shopping at Albertson’s and Trader Joe’s… and then I realized just how much of my food I was going to have to give up. It didn’t really strike me that fruit snacks have gelatin, or that all my favorite cereals have honey (Honey Comb, Honey Smacks, and Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds). I mean, up until Tuesday I had always proclaimed my dislike for honey… and in fact I don’t put honey in my tea or add it on to any foods. And then… bagels, my other favorite food, of course uses cream cheese. That’s made from milk. And so is butter. Slowly, but surely all my food options were running out! I panicked. Okay, I’m not saying my life revolves around food or anything, but let’s be real, I need that to liiiiive.

Luckily, I ran out of Honey Comb so that was out of the question anyway, and my Honey Smacks was stale. I bought a lot of fruit, and rekindled my passion for oatmeal. Ooh yumm, I can even have oatmeal without any brown sugar. I just love oatmeal. But anyway, okay… I found other options including hummus and pita for dinner. Wheat bread is okay, too. Bread is alright so long as it’s not made with eggs. There were options and I wasn’t dying. I even cooked rice and beans for dinner one night (wow that’s really brown hahaha).

But now, I’ve come home and there was (surprisingly) a box of Honey Comb here. Okay there’s never any food here (well there is now because we hired a cook, but anyway!) and my fave cereal suddenly appears. So I CAVED and had some Honey Comb for breakfast. And again, surprisingly, there was Silk Vanilla soymilk in fridge. So I mean part vegan, part vegetarian? There was also a lot of beef and rice left over from yesterday that the cook made, but I’m not touching that. And then (since the cook is not here on Fridays [blast!]) my mom decides to order pizza. She, but a few minutes prior, YELLED at me for even being vegetarian (she’s a carnivore) so I couldn’t bring myself to tell her I can’t even have cheese. So I caved in again and had pizza for lunch.

interior.jpgAnd now I just got an email from my Aunt Elvia about the plans to go see Wicked tomorrow. We’re having dinner at The Water Grill. They have nothing but seafood there. Trust me, I know because I’ve been there before. 1) I’m not eating meat at all until the end of January (even if I cheat with dairy, eggs, or honey sometimes) 2) I hate seafood. It’s looking like one big hassle, but my family has this tendency of getting upset real quick like so I’m not going to bring it up and just order a salad… ugh. I hate seafood, but my mother looooves it and I have a feeling that’s why we’re going there. My mother is the oldest and my Aunt Elvia, the one inviting us, is the second oldest so she’s always thinking about my mother (who is a big complainer if there is no meat or seafood). AGHHHH.

Anyway, I got my bags from heyyyy! They are totez cute~ I’ll take some pics and post them, if I remember… I always seem to forget to post photos for my blog. FAIL. -_-; The stuff from BARELY shipped! They take a really long time to process orders, apparently. Maybe that’s from the amount of orders they get since they seem to be really popular?

Anyway, lesson learned: Food I love and miss will still be there at the end of January. There is no need to panic. *sigh*