Wait Time

Shit! I haven’t blogged in a while. I am falling behind on the online life… argh! That’s never really happened before but I’m just taking a quick step back from the computer recently. No longer do I feel any urge to go on AIM and Windows Live Messenger. There really isn’t anyone to talk to on there that I don’t already talk to/see daily. So I just sort of don’t sign on. Also, on Aelyria I am about two months behind on posts (uhm oh wow…). Seriously, I even neglect my RSS feeds, and now my blog! AH. Hot mess, all right.

The days are seriously ZOOMING by. That’s actually kind of scary. I’m already in week 4 of winter quarter and there are only 11 weeks. In less than 6 months I’m going to be a third year at UC Santa Barbara. And in just a littttle over a month I’m going to be 20. Everything’s coming at me way too fast! Mind you, I’ve been waiting forever to be done with college, waiting forever to get into my 20s (which I’m actually really excited about!!!)… but now time seems to be coming at me faster.

[Philosophical Side note: I personally believe time’s arrows travel <– this way and not the commonly held view that they travel –> like that. UHM… FUCK I have a Philosophy of Time and Space class and it’s totally tripping me out…]

You know, this domain hasn’t even had a layout change in a few months? And my other domain has never had a layout. Things are a hot busy mess online. And whereas before I didn’t care for facebook I’m on it a few times a week now as opposed to a few times a month. AH! Well it’s only natural since all my friends are on Facebook. *shrugs* Whatever.

Lately I hang out with my friends so much more. I only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays but they are so insanely busy it’s ridiculous! On Tuesdays I go seven hours straight without a break! Not even time to eat… ): By the time I’m done for the day on Tuesdays I just want to shoot myself and be done with it. Wednesday seems to disappear all the time with me sleeping in and doing all the homework/reading for class due Thursday. The four-day weekends are long… but they also just disappear and slip away.

People do say time moves faster as you get older. Why? Oh wait… DNW to think atm! On Friday afternoon I was even looking online at philosophy lectures from other universities. Geez. As if my brain didn’t hurt ENOUGH during the week. Honestly, if you’re trying to figure out how/why everything material only exists in the mind (view called Idealism by Berkeley)… it just HURTS. Professor Holden even lets us out 15 minutes early because it’s way too much to take in and grasp…! The class is 75 minutes and by the hour mark I feel my brain wanting to explode. But uh doesn’t stop there… I have to go to Time/Space next. Lol… never thought I’d experience brain pain, but I am proven wrong.

Another reason I suspect time is moving faster for me is because my thoughts lately, especially at night, have been racing NONSTOP. At one point I was trying to say four things at the same time and my roommate Rony just said, “What? Okay you’re saying too many things at the same time.” Then I realized I was cleaning at night, getting all OCD, shopping TOO much, and talking/thinking too fast. Ugh, so that’s why I’ve been too happy and yet still extra annoyed lately… (Hypomania????) But I swear it wasn’t always that. I’m pretty sure I was symptom-free for a good month or two. *Sigh* Can’t escape it! [I’m talking about my bipolar diagnosis]

Anyway.

Oh, I’ve been learning how to cook (somewhat)! Easy things, anyway. Skylar taught me how to make miso soup. Sandy taught me to make pupusas. And I learned how to make udon and (for the very first time) tried making pancakes!! (: It’s actually really fun to cook. Eating my own food is another matter, though. Once I know the process something went through to get cooked I don’t really feel like eating it anymore. Something about knowing the ingredients and just the process itself puts me off. =\ Not sure… I’ll try to get over it.

OH. Oh. Oh wow. Ugh… I’ve been getting all offended lately. GAH. Whatever. Over it. Been over it. I need to get over this shit like NOW. (UGH DAMNIT! When I use the word “now” it makes me think of a “moving now” and … my Time/Space class is messing with me!)

OKKKKK. Updation over. I haven’t written in my moleskine for a WHILE now. I should look into using it again because it is so fabulous. (:

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3 Comments

  1. Omg yes quarter system is so brutally fast! It’s basically nonstop school work. Each Friday, I keep telling myself, wow this was a really long and tough week. I haven’t had an easy week yet and I probably won’t have one until spring break.

    Cooking is so fun when you don’t have to clean up after yourself.

    Thaos last blog post: I Got Hit By a Car While Biking!

  2. Oh, man, don’t get me started on Philosophy of Time and Space studies, either — That shit trips me out faster than X, babe. You can seriously sit there and just think about it for hours … And then when you try to put your opinions into words … OH MAN. xD;

    You sound good-busy, overall though, not bad-busy. ^^

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