DayMay 10, 2010

A Deep Breath of Ocean Water

Bob: What do you do?
Charlotte: I’m not sure yet, actually. I just graduated last spring.
Bob: What did you study?
Charlotte: Philosophy.
Bob: Yeah, there’s a good buck in that racket.
Charlotte: Well, so far it’s pro bono.

Oh you know, I’m graduating with a philosophy degree end of this calendar year and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Leave it to a great movie to express my fears with such simplicity. Law school, I’m looking at you. Totally never in my plan, not even a passion of mine… it’s what most Philosophy majors do and hence seems the LOGICAL thing to do… harharhar. Yeah, logic. That’s philosophy alright.

Can someone give me a hobby? I’m at my wit’s end. I can’t figure out what to do with my life, with myself, with anything. It’s 10pm, and I watched a movie today, ate one meal, went to both my classes, cleaned my room, ran some errands so that I could organize my room, and slept. Maybe that’s a well-rounded day for some people but I’m bored to tears.

It’s not even about being alone anymore. No one shares similar interests with me and that’s fine – it doesn’t matter anymore. I just wish I had more interests, period. Maybe then I’d be able to occupy my time with something more meaningful.

I did the Lemon Detox for five days and then went home on Saturday to celebrate Mother’s Day with the family and so I ate. If I hadn’t eaten it would have set a bad example for my brother… anyway, the detox went well. I’m down to do it again. I feel better. It gave me something to do.

Oh  yes, my hair is now a new color. It’s this caramel-y color. It took a second to get used to. It’s easier to look glowy and sunkissed with this hair. Perfect for summer. I need to think up more errands so I can fill my time with something, anything.

Worse than feeling lonely is feeling lonely and knowing no one that feels the same.