DaySeptember 7, 2011

How To Get Back To That Place

I just feel so hurt.

I never meant to cause you pain
My burden is the weight of a feather
I never meant to lead you on
I only meant to please me, however

When will I get over this? I’ve reached new and exciting stages of my life and I should appreciate them instead of dwelling.

“and in the middle of most nights when I can’t sleep, I still replay you.”

I’m torturing myself. I see that now. And I can smack my forehead all I like, sigh in extreme exasperation, walk around my apartment… none of it will do me any good. What KILLS me is that none of it was a figment of my imagination. There are countless words and instances… FUCK. Even screaming into my pillow does nothing.

Letting go of the best thing in your life and never getting it back… now that’s painful.

Can a heart break over and over again with every line I read?

I can’t live my life like this. I can’t live life, period, until I get over this. I can’t live my daily life doing this, either. But it’s even better than playing back a memory. It is the memory in itself encapsulated.