Heart-Strutter.org

denial never spoke so loud

Once is Never Enough

January 18th, 2012

There’s no such thing as a one-night stand with you. It can never be just once. Before the first night is over you’ve already asked me to come back and see you, and then another time and another and before we both know it you and I are seeing each other once a week, if not more. Figure me out. And once you do, there will be no need for us to ever see one another. The diagnosis is clear: we’re just not cut out to see each other. Until you want to see me again.

I’m romanticizing doctor’s appointments.

Currently: my white blood cell count is too high, my red blood cells are “falling” at a too-fast rate, and I’m Vitamin-D deficient by a landslide. It’s interesting to know that each and every one of these tests mention immune system and inflammation problems. My results speak for what’s going on with my body physically and outwardly. There’s this substantial proof that physically something is wrong with me. I’m not just making it up, but I am honestly having some kind of reaction.

Additionally I need to get an ultrasound, my testosterone levels are above normal, and I’m now taking Meloxicam for rheumatoid arthritis (if in case that’s what’s going on with me right now).  I also discovered I’m allergic to dust mites and shrimp, of all things. Luckily I don’t favor seafood so I have not eaten shrimp in years.

Ugh, my joints are itchy and swelling up right now. It didn’t happen at all in the morning yesterday for the first time. This morning the joint swelling was minimal and now it’s back albeit much calmer than previous times. Currently I’m obsessing over my lab results. When I went to see my primary physician we ran labs that required 9 tubes of blood and when I saw the rheumatologist the labs required 10 tubes of blood. We’re moving up the ladder here…

I see an allergist on Monday with a 3rd doctor just so we can explore all options. And then following that I get an ultra sound. Splendid.

Mean time I’m sort of stressed over taxes. And applying a steroidal cream for the itchiness. Life is currently at a standstill. I just want to figure this thing out and move on. But ever-so-not-secretly … I know I want to get diagnosed with something. Difficult to explain. But let’s fix this, come on already. :\

Heart-Strutter.org

denial never spoke so loud