Consuming Memories

Tu llegaste justo cuando menos te esperaba
Y te fuiste sin decirme ni siquiera adios
Me di cuenta que sin ti no podria ser yo nadie
Si me faltas tu mi amor para que vivir

Que te pasa corazon
Que cosas tiene el amor
Yo no quise enamorarme
Sorpresivamente asi
Ahora debes perdonarme
Por mi amor que eres tu

Bendigo la hora en que te conoci
Maldigo el momento en que te vi partir

I’m so tired of wasting time consuming memories by experiencing the happiness of focusing on memories instead of focusing on the happiness of experiencing. (Yes… I watched¬†Daniel Kahneman: The riddle of experience vs. memory¬†on TED.com)

I miss philosophy lectures. I miss my favorite professors. I miss thinking about obscure non-factual subject material. I miss you most of all.

Ugh.

Haven’t seen most of my friends in about 3 weeks. And strangely I don’t mind. I’ve been really quite focused on work. Yeah, that place that brings me misery during the day, but gives my life some kind of … meaning or something. How pathetic. But I guess when you get calls waking you up at 3am and text messages at 9pm that are all work-related … you don’t really have a choice but to make work the most meaningful thing in your life. I feel so resigned that I don’t even mind to a certain extent.

But it also makes life feel quite boring.

And that is the most sad thing of all. Life isn’t boring. At least I hope not.

I’m going to a Nightwish concert tomorrow night just for the hell of it. I haven’t seen them in a while. I haven’t even heard any new material from them in a very long time (since the last time I saw Nightwish in concert). And for the “new” singer to sing the songs the original singer created feels like a betrayal. OG > “New” Singer.

Once again I’ve been focusing on the interior design of my apartment. I really quite love the way I moved everything. Now it’s just about perfect. And fuck… I wonder why I’m vitamin-D deficient. I go to work before there’s any sun, and drive in the sunlight for 20 minutes when I get off work and… then seclude myself in my apartment the rest of the evening. Never thought I’d have to literally go tanning or something… just to get a dose of sunlight. I’m even driving with my sunroof opened so my skin can absorb some goddamn vitamins.

At this point my blog entries can all just end in a resounding SIGH.

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