MonthAugust 2012

2 for 1.

Every season Stella McCartney releases these dresses. These BEAUTIFUL dresses… I’m still dreaming about the blush colored lace dress from several seasons back that was on so many magazine covers. A girl can dream.

This season, Stella McCartney has released a modern dress that really is like two dresses in one due to the actual silhouette of the dress, and then the silhouette the black on the white creates. It creates the most perfect slimming and womanly shape.

It is hard to appreciate the dress without seeing it on a woman’s body. In all its glory:

 

I’ll continue to dream of one day owning a beautiful Stella McCartney dress! 🙂

Warmth


Freja Beha! Haven’t seen you in a while. This photo is everything I want to be feeling right now. There’s nothing like a nice warm oversized coat. I’m so sick of avoiding the outdoors any time before 8pm. The sun never sets and the heat rarely subsides. I want to feel that cool breeze.

Zara has consistently been knocking it out of the park with their collections. Too bad I haven’t stepped into a Zara for a few months! It’s all about that online shopping with this heat wave so we can all safely try on those coats with the AC on full blast.

Photos: Zara Winter 2012

Mistaking Motion for Action

I feel so incredibly anxious, restless, upset, frustrated. My life is at a complete standstill. I like change, crave change. But there’s no change in my life right now. I feel powerless and maybe even penniless to create change.

Back when I worked in produce I had my own apartment in a city away from my family. It was independence at its best. Interior design brought me SUCH JOY. I felt like a real adult. There was nothing like coming home to my perfect apartment. I didn’t take it for granted, I appreciated my place every single flippin’ day. Yet I felt immensely lonely, isolated, and for some reason still yearned to move out of the country even though my life felt so “set.” I don’t pretend that moving is going to fix my loneliness issues, but somehow the forced independence just feels… appropriate.

Right now in this very moment I am so extremely stressed by my inability to change anything in my life. I don’t know how moving away would solve ANYTHING anyway. In fact, moving to another country would stress me out more. Are you kidding? New language, new culture, attempting to make friends in a completely foreign place, getting lost, learning how to do taxes in a new country, etc. etc. etc. Maybe I’m too practical. I feel inundated by FEAR. The moment I imagine myself in another country my stomach twists into knots and I feel very real fear.

But yet… I continue to idealize moving to Europe. And I continue to think about it. I continue to look countries up online. And I also continue to stress myself out about something that’s not even happening in my life right now.

I just want to know someone in another country. You know, to get reassured that everything will be FINE when I get there. Someone that is familiar with the culture, the lifestyle, the currency, the language, the flippin’ government documents. Gosh, I hate this constant need for reassurance, this dependence on someone else. There will be NO ONE at the other side of the world to hold my hand.

Hell, there’s no one in this country holding my hand either. And I stress about it. While on familiar ground. And it makes me depressed that there’s no one here pushing me harder, motivating me.

No matter where in the world I am there won’t be anyone holding my hand. So I need to stop needing that form of guidance. I feel like I can only just barely stand on my own two feet. Moving to another country could either completely debilitate me or it could help me earn some independence muscle.

I hate thinking about this all the time. But I KNOW, I KNOW my heart is in Europe. I just feel so at peace there. I just don’t know if this is enough of a motivating factor to drive me to do what is currently so impossible for me to fathom. I don’t know if I’m just feeling vulnerable and restless.

My life should be stable before I try to make it a mess. Why make a mess into a disaster?

I’m in a very bad place emotionally these days. I keep it to myself. I never thought I’d be in this situation again. I left this situation in 11th grade and now I’m back. How do you climb a mountain after you’ve fallen off a hill?

I need you now more than ever.

In reality, “you” no longer stands for you, but for anyone. You let me down.

My So Called Life

Oh no… I think I’m in trouble! After watching episode six of popular 90s show My So-Called Life I suddenly have a brand new craving for a new Isabel Marant shirt… one WAY out of my price range!

The reason I want it so badly is because in the 90s TV show one of the characters is wearing a shirt that oddly resembles the Isabel Marant shirt. And since she looks so cool and laid back with it I suddenly want the IM shirt. Except I’m sure that back in the 90s the shirt the character is wearing probably cost pennies compared to the IM shirt!

Here are some screen caps:

Inspiration comes from all sorts of places. Now I’m not saying anything about whether or not Isabel Marant ever saw this original shirt (seems unlikely as this is an American 90s TV show) but it is definitely a big coincidence! Ah.. can’t believe I’m suddenly lemming for a shirt I thought I could very easily SKIP this season. ^_^;