Like a disease.

I try to expel emotions like the flu. I start to sweat profusely just like someone sick tries to sweat out their flu. The same goes with me and emotions.

Emotions are my illness. They are a weakness. They need to leave my body the moment I know I’ve come down with a case of feeling. And I know that I do this because I freak out that the emotion will leave me different, altered, affected, permanently sick. (Actually my worst case scenario has happened to me already – and that’s that the emotions will not be returned. So what else do I have to fear, right?)

The only other time I felt it was for six long years. No unwarranted emotion should last that long.

So I’m trying to sweat it out before it becomes real.

Always on guard.

Honestly, right now I’m going through withdrawals. 🙁 I need what I had or something extremely similar/different/equally as distracting.

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