de rigueur

“Why are you afraid of falling for someone?” I asked.
“I have every reason to be,” she said.
“But you don’t mind if people fall for you.”
“No, I don’t. I can’t help it.”
“Yes you can. But you like it. Why is that?”
“I find pleasure in destroying others.”
“You’re destroyed.”
“I know. And I did it to myself.”
“So it’s like you’re seeking revenge then.”
“No, I just don’t want to feel alone.”
“But you still feel alone. Don’t you?”
“I do. And I do it to myself.”

I just want to live and breathe Brandon Li Oda’s tumblr right now.

There will come a time in your life when you will feel absolutely defeated to the point where you’ll wish you could quietly disappear from the face of the earth. It may even happen more than once. You will feel like you have lost. And you will feel lost. The world will seem much colder than it already is, and it’ll feel like it is crumbling before your very own eyes. You’ll have no grasp on anything or anyone. Your hopes and dreams will slip through the spaces between your fingers like sand. Giving up will seem to be your only option, because you cannot see any hint of light at the end of your tunnel. You will be entirely engulfed by sadness and think, “It can’t get any worse than this.”

My mood is much improved. It is with a clear mind and an empty heart that I am finally able to say “I’m OK!” 🙂

I started this post hours and hours ago… but I’ve been keeping busy at work. I’ll write more later.

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