DayOctober 20, 2013

“I’ve Had It Up To Here for the 37th Time This Year”

Conversation chemistry.

Him: Can I be Mr Rochester when I grow up plzzz
Me: Sure
Him: Sweet thanks
Me: I’m looking up a character analysis btw lest you think I didn’t take your request srsly.
Him: Never, you’re fastidious to a fault, and as obliging
Me: I can’t retaliate. Wtf!
Him: Is that bad?
Me: I would like to pretend you didn’t know me so well.
Him: Indeed. You may pretend I spent very little time thinking of you if you like, but it was not so
Me: Don’t say that to me.
Him: Well, as I treated you very poorly anyway, it’s hardly a compliment to myself

What a relief it is to not have to explain myself, to merely be understood. And for me to like everything he says, too. I’m just enjoying the little bits of conversation we have here and there…

And I know I can do all these things alone now … but only because I know that really I’m not so alone, in conversation anyway. My favorite conversation partner. I think the distance helps. Knowing he’s in grad school in New Jersey makes it all the easier to talk, and makes me all the stronger. I don’t know how that works exactly.

The situation is too new, too fresh for me to analyze it properly (and really I probably shouldn’t anyway). But I want to remember this feeling of pure conversational enjoyment. Before the feeling slips away. Before I want anything more or less than conversation (depending on how you look at it, amirite?)

Doom & Gloom.


I’ll have to leave
Just as soon as the colors begin to fade
I’ll run away before lying to you becomes natural
What I had in mind was
What you held against me
Give me the keys
And I’ll drive you insane, take apart your brain
If you ever loved me

Never satisfied
Or just never coming back

Stay away from me
No, prep him for the ghost,
Let him see the ghost,
Let it in and come to terms (with)
What would have, could have been

Prep him for the weight
Let him see the fate
Fracturing relationships
And isolation
Do you wanna get mad about…All your feelings won’t change the world
Do you wanna get mad about… Saying nothing, being nothing, be with someone else


Before you decide that this is dated
Take me out of the equation
What was it that you most hated
(I think) all the time that you spent waiting

When the stomach becomes the mouth and its spewing all its garbage out
To think before speaking would prevent you from the point you’re making

The slew of trails towards destiny, the perfect day to quit
The slew of trails in reverie, bite my crooked shape

My favorite song of the moment. This song so beautifully melds Tilian’s vocals with the screamo. And I just can’t help but to get lost in the feeling the song produces, even if personally it’s meaningless. I want to listen to this song over and over and over. Of course I’m also really into “Jesus H. Macy” and “The Robot with Human Hair, pt. 4.” One throwback song I also lovelovelove right now is “Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most” featuring vocals by Gatsbys American Dream vocalist Nic Newsham. I’m purdy glad I got to see Gatsbys [sic] when I was in high-school; they headlined a tour with My American Heart.

Speaking of shows, I met a super nice grrrrl named Christie at the Tim Kasher show I went to with Javi. She went to the show alone! and she mentioned she had plans to go to the Anthony Green concert in November that I’m also going to with my brother. I probz should have gotten her number to ensure we meet up again. As we were talking during set breaks she mentioned a Saves The Day and Bayside show from about two years ago… Coincidentally she and I were both at that show, too.

How funny that she and I have probably been to many of the same shows over the years… but I’ve never seen her! I’m really good at remembering faces even if I’ve only seen someone once but never hers! Here’s to hoping I’m able to find her again for the Anthony Green show. 🙂

Music is… music to my ears.

But going back to Dance Gavin Dance… Acceptance Speech is totaaaaally growing on me. As I’m wont to do, I’ve just been listening to my favorite songs by DGD nonstop. Before Acceptance Speech I couldn’t stop listening to blessthefall’s first album, then before that it was Tides of Man, and then before that Hrvrd. I keep trying to throw in The Dear Hunter’s new album Migrant in there any chance I get! It’s also a brilliant album.

I can’t wait for Anthony Green to release Young Legs!! 😀