“[We] have no small talk. If we talk, we talk.
And so we go for weeks, for months, not talking at all.”


If ever I have had a rollercoaster year, this would be it. Such joy, such triumph, such difficulty, such unfortunate incidents have all filled my year.

Hopefully the last difficulty of the year was yesterday. My $800 Balenciaga purse was stolen along with a $700 handbag I had just minutes before purchased at Nordstrom.

The details on how it happened are pretty much a moot point. I’m just pissed my Balenciaga was from 2007 in chevre leather which really was quite lucky and a classic investment. Ugh. And now I have to buy the goddamn new handbag that also got stolen… again. Because I liked it that much. And it’s the holiday season and I have no debit card as I called to cancel it. Wtf am I supposed to do…?! I guess last minute gift-buying will be the way to go since it might take a week+ to get my new card. Blargh. And forget the hassle of having to update all my payment information EVERYWHERE. Geezus christ.

I didn’t even use my Bal bag very often, you know? And that day I just felt like taking it out from the closet and using it. Just had to be that day right? Or how I should have just been slightly more careful. Even a little more careful and the whole situation could have been avoided. I suppose I’m more upset with myself than anything. The person that took my stuff is a fucking idiot. They will never have all the things that I have or a life as full as mine. And that’s why they feel this incredible need to steal. Whateverz. Despite the loss I’m not exactly hurting financially. It’s just a very minor set back in the grand scheme of all the money I will have in my life. *shrugs*

Luckily my whole life was not in the bag since I did actually switch into that bag that very morning. Just a luxurious lip balm (of which I have two more!), a Chanel lipstick (and of course I have literally about 40+ other lipsticks…), and a book… which can easilyyyy be replaced given I actually was fucking reading it. But it’s just a perspective thing. Despite all the things I lost I have really not lost anything too essential. I have other handbags. It’s not a big deal. And my phone, with all my work information/contacts was at least in my pocket.

You know… I was THIS close to self-parking because the line for valet was actually sort of long, but I figured eh what the hell… might as well valet right? THANK BLOODY GOD for that because otherwise my car keys would have been in my purse. And then the mess of having to sort out how to regain access to my Bimmer without my keys would have been a further mess.

Anyway, after the whole debacle I actually did spend time with First… he brought me cookies and coffee while I filed a report with the police. And he embraced me. And supported me during the whole thing. Then he treated me to dinner.

All the while I was just in a daze and extremely grateful not to have been alone AFTER the fact, just for some sort of physical support.

Dinner was fun though.

First got me to open up. A little. Not too much. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I  had let myself be too candid.

I was distraught/distracted but we made the best of it. We talked. We really talked.

We even discussed what happened that night. I got incredibly shy. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. Even though I’ve been looking him straight in the eyes all these months every time I saw him.

He said I felt like “silk.” I tried not to laugh or blush or anything. I even had to ask for clarification because I didn’t hear him properly the first time. How incredibly awkward. But he was more than willing to repeat it for me.

But in the end, it happened once and that’s how it will remain. Just the once.

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