Building Systems, Not Goals

This is the second week that I have created a weekly schedule of all the things I would like to accomplish on any and every given day. Just thinking about it stresses me out a little bit. From time to time it has felt like the number of things I need to accomplish on any given day is staggering and the hours, limited. Or like I’m micro-managing my time…

Either way, I’m piling a lot onto my plate with the knowledge that I actually want to pile more on. I feel like I’m building a collapsing tower… knowing that I still have a few more levels to tack on…

Currently my schedule rotates:

  • Moralities online course (3x/wk)
  • Soul Beliefs online course (2x/wk)
  • Philosophy online course (2x/wk)
  • Reading for book club
  • Movie nights 2x/wk (Netflix DVD and movie theater)
  • Exercise every day
  • Family/Friend hang outs 2-3x/wk
  • Sunday church
  • Miscellaneous errands
  • Nap a few times a week…

I also really want to start going to barre more regularly… except I can’t find the time. And the thought of financing many more things is enough to kind of spring myself to another consideration: I really should get a 2nd job, part time. Do I even have the time? Or more importantly, do I even have the energy?!

As it stands I wake up at 3:30am. On bad days, at 4am.

And head to bed at roughly 9pm, give or take an hour on certain nights depending on energy level, exact wake up time, and whether or not I have napped, etc. Seriously… you’d think with all that I do that I struggle to find time to sleep but really it’s very important to keeping me sane and functioning at work. No amount of caffeine can wake up a sleep-deprived Bri-brain. Nothing feels worse than not sleeping, except maybe not working out. :\ Missing one of my to-do’s creates this awful feeling of not being accomplished enough (even if I did ‘accomplish’ 4 other things…). Gah! Nothing is ever enough, basically. All or nothing?

This week: I’ve been having a blast celebrating my cousin’s birthday, spending time with friends here and there, especially loving the lectures on my online courses, and magically I got to pick the second book club book (which I have been enjoying!!), and since I have Moviepass have been going to the movies, and etc. etc. etc. It’s just… ahhhh… sometimes it just feels like I have a million things that I want to do and I’m actually trying to do it all.

And on top of it all I’m trying to eat healthily (seriously keeping my weight in check while working a desk job is like rocket science) and struggling with happiness at work, too.

In fact, general happiness is something I’ve been struggling with lately. It’s fallen by the wayside. And I am compensating by filling my time with as many difficult activities as humanely possible to avoid all thought processes pertaining to my emotions.

In times like this there is something very cathartic about taking the stairs all the way to the roof of this office building.

I’m stressing myself out with all these extra activities. And yet failing to address all the things that are really behind the extra activities. Ugh. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Alright I’ve taken about a 20 minute break from the surmounting piles of work… Ugh… *slits wrists*

I think I failed to address the subject matter I intended to write about… given the header of this… I’ll address later…

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Shopping: January Round-Up

Purchases for January

Early in the month I went to Las Vegas with friends. I was good, didn’t drink, even threw in a late night workout at the hotel. I didn’t spend very much money, except for chipping in for the hotel, of course. Friends bought food and we cooked for the most part. We did do brunch and few quick foods but I’d say my spending was very minimal for a Vegas trip, but was an unplanned expense nonetheless. However I did gain new friends in the process.

On the Sunday of that Vegas weekend, just before we left… the emphasis was definitely on shopping. We even stopped by the outlets at Primm before driving back home. I didn’t purchase anything at the outlets but I did make a purchase at Planet Hollywood… an expensive, unplanned one.

I lost my best favoritest sunglasses when I was in a car accident back in Dec. 2010. They were gorgeous aviators that ran a smidgen more square than round, perfect for my super round circle face. And since then I haven’t exactly had sunglasses. I mean I have, but nothing I was attached to to make part of my “look.”

Enter:

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Prada 52PS

I also had been holding on to a store credit from Solstice for three years… lmao. So I resolved to make the sunglasses my monthly purchase. This did mean that I changed my January shopping theme from trousers to accessories – something I had planned well into the middle of the year because I don’t consider accessories very important (which is perhaps a rookie fashion mistake).

But I think considering my move in January, purchasing anything that would add to my baggage wouldn’t make sense. But sunglasses, now those are handy things. So I felt justified in changing my theme. Also this year I’ve resolved to begin adding gold elements to my wardrobe vs strictly silver/platinum/white gold. A step in the right direction.

Then on the 2nd to last week I purchased an Everlane slim compact leather wallet, a purchase I’d been mulling over since middle of December but held off from purchasing because I purchased far too many luxury goods that month… lmao. But still, the wallet remained a necessity. I’d been using the same fabric Coach wallet for maybe 5 years, if not more. The condition on it is still amazing but the weight and size of it just didn’t feel right anymore.

8901056f_fff0Everlane wallet

In round-up, I think I chose wisely on the theme for the month and also chose items I truly did need and use. For example, I used the sunglasses -without fail- every single day this month. The fit of the sunglasses is absolutely perfect and they serve their purpose well.

Did I save money with this Shopping Goal of mine? Not this month. From an unplanned Vegas trip to moving expenses to having to purchase a formal dress for the Annual FPFC dinner dance for work, I definitely did not save any money this month. But I don’t regret the purchases I made either. Both items were quite practical and carefully thought through purchases.

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