I’ve Been Searching For Words to Say

It’s only been a few short days since I last wrote, I know. But, the last post was more of a placeholder than an actual post, yannoe? And I’ve been dying to say something, anything. But sometimes I am just devoid of things to say even when there is a lot happening. It’s because I don’t feel very much. Sometimes I just let the wind take me where it may.

I’ll write some words shortly. But first:

“I would be lying if I said I don’t think I’ll ever find someone. As much as I enjoy basking in my own solitude and accepting my disinterest in others, there is indeed a part of me that still has hope. I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I never had hope in the first place. Even though I’ve been consumed by this darkness, this lingering void that casts as my shadow, there must be a hint of light somewhere.

I’d like to believe that I’m a decent person. Although it’s mostly vacant, only good intentions lay in the corners of my heart. And at times it anxiously craves to be filled. Pieces of me have drifted away throughout the course of my life. They’re probably gone for good or hidden in some parts of this world, and it is the very reason of my constant desire to travel and escape. There is something or someone quietly tugging on my soul, pulling me away from here.

I’ve always believed that in order to find someone else, I have to find myself first. Therefore I dedicated each and every remaining part of me to everything that I do and believe in. And I’m quite satisfied thus far. But I’m always yearning for something more, something new. Whoever you are, wherever you are, perhaps I’m longing for someone like you.”

-Brandon Li Oda, tumblr

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