As I was running on the treadmill yesterday I couldn’t help but to think that I am always so very short on time. Sometimes the things I need to do most fall to the wayside because I give in to things I sorta/maybe/onlykindof want to do. So in an effort to minimize my stress levels and manage my time better I started thinking about the things I do that have absolutely no end goal. Without an end goal, EVERYTHING is potentially a waste of time.
I could run and run and run but if my goal wasn’t to tone/strengthen my body then… I’m haphazardly just running. This is probably the most inapplicable example of all time, but the idea is the same for other more personal concepts/things I expend my TIME on which is potentially the most valuable thing I possess.
Without wanting something (in the very end) I am an aimless wanderer completing tasks of seemingly unimportance.
Except haven’t I trained myself time and time again not to want too much? (Except of course don’t I always want too much? My wants are never-ending. The constant struggle of eliminating wants…)
And here I am now telling myself that without ‘goals’ (interchangeable here as ‘wants’) my ‘systems’ are actually rather pointless. Not a particularly enlightening revelation there… In fact, S. tried pointing this out to me but I was trying to blind myself from the wants my systems were actually trying to fulfill, all in disguise. By focusing on the systems rather than the goals I was not actively wanting anything, only completing tasks. A sense of accomplishment without actually knowing what it is I was accomplishing. The slight differences of semantics, yeah?
(“Accomplishments are transient” need I remind?)
OK so what exactly am I talking about now that I’ve given the novel-length preface?
To say again: “Without wanting something (in the very end) I am an aimless wanderer completing tasks of seemingly unimportance.”
So, what if I actually don’t want something in the very end? Pursuing for its own sake versus for the end goal?
THESE sorts of tasks/things happening in my mind are the very ones that need to be cut off completely from my life. COMPLETELY.
My horoscope today? (I literally JUST checked right this second.)
“You may be feeling somewhat pessimistic about the way some new venture is unfolding in your life. It doesn’t look hopeful. It doesn’t feel inspiring. It is instilling a sense of disappointment in you already. But the key word to go back to, Pisces, is ‘unfolding.’ Yes, it is still unfolding. That means it has not reached a conclusion, and you can’t be sure just yet about whether you will find success or not. But your chances will be dramatically improved if you keep believing and you don’t lose hope.”
I’m getting so side-tracked and ignoring LAB. LAB. I need to talk about LAB.
There are two things right now potentially wasting my time: LAB and FLM.
Naturally, it’s time to head into a meeting…
So LAB gets pushed to yet another post. Upcoming. Today. TODAY. I promise.