Sie sind das Blut fließt durch meine Finger rinnen.

Mood: excellent~

Music: Sufjan Stevens – You Are The Blood (Castanets cover).

Book: Constellation of Vital Phenomena (still!)

List form, just because.

I’m on day 3 of oatmeal for breakfast made tolerable with PB&J granola from Nature Box and sliced bananas. I feel not so sick or over-full this way as has been happening a lot to me lately.

I’ve been trying some different things with my running lately. Starting off at a faster speed seems to be key to expending my energy in the best way. One particular day I tried merely walking at a normal pace with a “high” incline and I got shin splints so bad I could barely walk let alone run after that. That was probably the worst warm up idea of all time. I always get shin splints when I try to walk too fast. Running doesn’t seem to cause the same problem. What GIVES!

At one point last week/this weekend/AT SOME POINT IN THE NEAR PAST (my days start all blurring together)… I did 5.30 miles versus my standard 5. That’s an additional quarter mile! Even so, I can’t get from 5 miles to 6 miles yet. I’m working on saying I can manage 10k worth of exercise every day of the week without actually participating anywhere. That’s too much work. I just want the skill without actually having to utilize it for anything… maybe that’s weird though.

I failed to do any exercise whatsoever yesterday. BUT! Gained something else in return: da strong bondz of friendship. I feel so extremely rejuvenated it’s better than the endorphin rush of exercise.

Yesterday I drove to Granada Hills to visit Daniel Lee almost on a whim. Or out of spontaneity. Or per his casual, “It’s 2! You’re off work. LET’Z HANG” in not so fruitful words as my representation of him. It was an hour drive north listening to Sufjan Stevens and enjoying the gorgeous sun beating down at 97 degrees with the joys of AC to boot.

 

Despite ten minutes of I AM LOST WHERE DO YOU LIVE WHERE IS YOUR HOUSE, I finally reached his house. We grooved along to some music, chatted, proceeded to get even more lost than before, driving around, and etc. We eventually made our way to a park and picnicked. After, we headed towards a ‘specialty drink’ store… lulz, or boba really.

By 7:30 he was quite reluctant to see me leave but it was getting late. We hugged many many times and in that moment I knew exactly what sort of disconnect he was going through with his condition/illness. I was sad to leave but also a little anxious.

After four hours with Daniel I realized I had the loveliest time I’ve ever had on such short notice and without any plans predetermined.

But also after four hours I began to feel other things. Restlessness, anxiety. And this indescribable feeling that I hope I’m not clinging onto just for the sake of being clingy. And so I’m trying to create a distance between myself and this clingy feeling due to the fact that the nature of the feeling is distance itself.

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