DayApril 21, 2014

Bad Heart

I want to hear the sound of rain.

It’s like… things are going so very well and yet not exactly as I want them to be, all at the same time. ‘Very well’ is not enough. I’m the only one here that’s disappointing myself. Holding on to things I don’t even have a firm grasp on.

I’m getting pretty sick of disappointing myself.

I feel like I can only hold on for so much longer. The effort I am exerting is starting to be too much. I neither have the time or energy to pursue dead things.

There have been small bouts of emotional depression lately. I’m very very very worried about something as of late. And well… I’m stressed out. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it.

I think I fucked up my left knee some days ago, overworking my muscles basically. Ugh.

Why is no amount of exercise ever enough?

My stress levels are rising right now.