Inessential

On my drive home from work yesterday I managed to catch KCRW’s “Bookworm” segment in which poet Alice Notley discusses her new novel-length noir poem “Negativity’s Kiss.”

The segment really helped me feel some sort of excitement about reading and consuming all the wonderful things in the world.

I wanted to say about 10 things more in regards to this segment but then my mind got distracted…

– – –

Here’s where I will now just go into ramble/random thoughts I’ve had this week, in little to no structure:

“When aiming for the best…” just what is left?

Love no longer being a requisite for sustainable living.

In love with people from afar, but never for myself. No attraction. I can love who you are just for being you. So in love. But when I think of myself with anyone it is immediately a repulsive thought. No spark, no connection, just… immunity.

I want to look into yoga. But first I need to go to barre more often.

Since last week I have become an adult that listens to talk radio. When I was younger I would distinctly remember thinking my aunt such a bore for listening to talk radio and not music – music which is a big chunk of my heart, or at least used to be but now my heart wants to consume different things. I am that person that listens to talk radio.

It’s weird seeing my self transform before my very eyes. Even though I don’t have a full-length mirror at my new place yet. (Left it in Long Beach attached to the wall… prolly a mistake, that part. I’ve been guesstimating the silhouettes I’m making with my clothes lately.)

My hair is finally getting noticeably longer after MONTHS of short-ness. This has led to me impulsively putting my hair up into a ponytail or a bun because it’s at just that awkward length. But my hair is curling very nicely again because I’ve been pamperingĀ it with delicious oil in the morning and using a lot less heat styling.

I’ve been losing weight these past 2 weeks, even though I haven’t really been exercising lately. My appetite has been decreased for a while… but my love for eating hasn’t diminished, it just occurs to me less often to eat recently.

This has made me very comfortable with my body as of late. I still need some toning and hardening of the wobbly bits but! all my clothes fits with such a comfortable ease that this feeling is nice even if I’m not all stone… yet.

And so many other things. I can’t believe I haven’t been personal blogging lately. So many thoughts and observations. And so short on the time or the vocabulary to make those thoughts concrete – until this morning. Word vomit.

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