Heart-Strutter.org

I don’t know why I’m so sleepy already. Perhaps it was the train ride from Santa Barbara to LA because I slept from 3am to 9am today (that’s a whole six hours). And, I just yawned. Auntie Meme is in bed already, and it’s tempting to want to follow suit. In any case, I have to blog today as the day is almost over (in 2 hours!). This blogathon is harder than it was in February. I actually had things to say back in February!

Everyone on my floor was out and about last night partying. It was intense. David and I hadn’t eaten so at 12:30am we went to Freebirds and sure enough, his whole floor (definitely a party floor) and my whole floor was there. We also saw a drunk Toby… ahahah. Pretty funny stuff, really. I was in my gangster sweats and a black hoodie, pulled up… XD; I felt pretty damn gangstah, especially compared to all the girls in their pretty clothes and shoes they had worn to party. Okay, so I wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t partying! And, I feel like a Hispanic gangster when I wear sweats… lmfao.

David wanted to go back to my room to eat, but I said hells to the nah. He makes too much of a mess when he eats and my room was heeelllla messy this week (it even threw off the good vibes and feng shui and shit). So, we ate at the HSSB Patio. (: It was eerie, but I loved it, except for when David would repeatedly say, “The devil can see you.” I’m not a believer, but that was scary. Grr. I only ate half the quesadilla (geezus Freebirds serves GIANT portions), while David ate all of his. Intense much?

Erm… I’m not sure what else to say. I suppose I’ll mention I missed L.A. :] Haha, it was so scary… this black man asked me to help him with a favor. >>; He was like, “Can you say, ‘May I speak to Samantha?’” I was like, “WTF???” but it went to voicemail. Lmfao. That was fucking intense. Then some Hispanic lady that couldn’t speak English asked me how to get to Hill St. and 7th. TBH, I didn’t know so when the next bus came I asked for her and led her in the right direction (I hope). Finally, Meme, Mary, Brian, and Lil’ Midori came to pick me up. We went to dinner at Suehiro♥ [my fave little Japanese restaurant in J-town] on 1st st.

Now I’m at Meme’s place. I’mma sleep over here since Downtown LA is like … right there! It’s faster and more convenient than taking me to Mom’s house and then have her drive back home. Plus, Mom is busy preparing for dinner tomorrow… she hasn’t told anyone what she’s cooking. We’re celebrating her birthday (but she wanted to cook) tomorrow. Her actual birthday is on 9/11. Meep! Yeah, and I can’t be here on Tuesday. I’ve got class and all that jazz.

And… I have an Ethics essay due on… Thursday? I’ll have to double check on that, though, but I’m pretty sure he said the 13th. There are two topics, but I’m clearly going to choose this next one:

Give a clear and detailed summary of J.J. Thomson’s arguments for why abortion is morally
permissible in the case of rape and in some cases of unwanted pregnancy (approx 3 to 3 ½
pages). Your summary, at the very least, should include discussion of the ‘violinist case’ as well
as the ‘people seed case’.
After you have explained her arguments, weigh in with your own reasoned evaluation of her
arguments (approx 1 to 1 ½ pages).

It’s pretty darn easyyy. I love Intro to Ethics. The class is interesting and the assignments are easy for me ‘cus I like the subject material and shiiiz. This is the second paper for the class, the first in which I got an A-. Most people got Bs, and the average was like 83% or something like that. So.. yey! ^_^ Ouch, I just checked the grades for Phil 4, and one girl I was talking to said she failed the 4th quiz. She’s the only one that failed. -_-; She currently has a D+. Talk about OUCH. I feel bad for her. =\ Anyway… I’m doing pretty well in that class and we still have 55% of our grade left up for grabs. ^_^ Exciiiiting.

Aites, well… I think I’m gonna listen to my music now or who knows. David is out partying so it’s not like I can talk to him. And Teekwidca (ze Ryan)  is idle, though I suspect he’s asleep. Damn those East Coast people that actually like to sleep. Twinkie sleeps at crazy hoursss which helps to talk to him. Fo’ sho. Lmao, this entry = crap. That’s OK. I can learn to deal.

/end

I don't know why I'm so sleepy already. Perhaps it was the train ride from Santa Barbara to LA because I slept from 3am to 9am today (that's a whole six hours). And, I just yawned. Auntie Meme is in bed already, and it's tempting to want to follow suit. In any case, I have to blog today as the day is almost over (in 2 hours!). This blogathon is harder than it was in February. I actually had things to say back in February! Everyone on my floor was out and about last night partying. It was intense. David and I hadn't eaten so at 12:30am we went to Freebirds and sure enough, his whole floor (definitely a party floor) and my whole floor was there. We also saw a drunk Toby... ahahah. Pretty funny stuff, really. I was in my gangster sweats and a black hoodie, pulled up... XD; I felt pretty damn gangstah, especially compared to all the girls in their pretty clothes and shoes they had worn to party. Okay, so I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't partying! And, I feel like a Hispanic gangster when I wear sweats... lmfao. David wanted to go back to my room to eat, but I said hells to the nah. He makes too much of a mess when he eats and my room was heeelllla messy this week (it even threw off the good vibes and feng shui and shit). So, we ate at the HSSB Patio. (: It was eerie, but I loved it, except for when David would repeatedly say, "The devil can see you." I'm not a believer, but that was scary. Grr. I only ate half the quesadilla (geezus Freebirds serves GIANT portions), while David ate all of his. Intense much? Erm... I'm not sure what else to say. I suppose I'll mention I missed L.A. :] Haha, it was so scary... this black man asked me to help him with a favor. >>; He was like, "Can you say, 'May I speak to Samantha?'" I was like, "WTF???" but it went to voicemail. Lmfao. That was fucking intense. Then some Hispanic lady that couldn't speak English asked me how to get to Hill St. and 7th. TBH, I didn't know so when the next bus came I asked for her and led her in the right direction (I hope). Finally, Meme, Mary, Brian, and Lil' Midori came to pick me up. We went to dinner at Suehiro♥ [my fave little Japanese restaurant in J-town] on 1st st. Now I'm at Meme's place. I'mma sleep over here since Downtown LA is like ... right there! It's faster and more convenient than taking me to Mom's house and then have her drive back home. Plus, Mom is busy preparing for dinner tomorrow... she hasn't told anyone what she's cooking. We're celebrating her birthday (but she wanted to cook) tomorrow. Her actual birthday is on 9/11. Meep! Yeah, and I can't be here on Tuesday. I've got class and all that jazz. And... I have an Ethics essay due on... Thursday? I'll have to double check on that, though, but I'm pretty sure he said the 13th. There are two topics, but I'm clearly going to choose this next one: Give a clear and detailed summary of J.J. Thomson's arguments for why abortion is morally permissible in the case of rape and in some cases of unwanted pregnancy (approx 3 to 3 ½ pages). Your summary, at the very least, should include discussion of the 'violinist case' as well as the 'people seed case'. After you have explained her arguments, weigh in with your own reasoned evaluation of her arguments (approx 1 to 1 ½ pages). It's pretty darn easyyy. :D I love Intro to Ethics. The class is interesting and the assignments are easy for me 'cus I like the subject material and shiiiz. This is the second paper for the class, the first in which I got an A-. :D Most people got Bs, and the average was like 83% or something like that. So.. yey! ^_^ Ouch, I just checked the grades for Phil 4, and one girl I was talking to said she failed the 4th quiz. She's the only one that failed. -_-; She currently has a D+. Talk about OUCH. I feel bad for her. =\ Anyway... I'm doing pretty well in that class and we still have 55% of our grade left up for grabs. ^_^ Exciiiiting. Aites, well... I think I'm gonna listen to my music now or who knows. David is out partying so it's not like I can talk to him. And Teekwidca (ze Ryan)  is idle, though I suspect he's asleep. Damn those East Coast people that actually like to sleep. Twinkie sleeps at crazy hoursss which helps to talk to him. Fo' sho. Lmao, this entry = crap. That's OK. I can learn to deal. /end

For once, the title of this post comes not from any song lyrics, but a word that explains exactly what happened to my mood today. There was an inexplicable fluctuation for which I feel really bad. From confidence to self-doubt in 60 seconds. This isn’t who I am. And, there will always be some form of Bayside lyrics to help describe how I feel.

As I was using the StumbleUpon plugin it went to the Way Back Machine (which I definitely already knew about), and starting looking for my old blog when it was at Dakishime.Net. I found 4 entries from 2004 that I did not manage to save when I moved over from DakiNET to Heart-strutter.org. So, I just copy & pasted the old entries and re-added them to my blog. They’re really retarded entries, but they’re memories nonetheless.

Today, I got my Pacsun clothes. :] Yeah, I totally did some online shopping last week and all my packages are arriving. lol. ^_^; Anyway, that’s what happens when you’re hypomanic…  you like to spend money. *shrugs*

I’m going home tomorrow to spend time with my mother as it’s her birthday on Tuesday (9/11), but considering I’m in SB I can’t go over there on Tuesday. This weekend is so big for FSSP and I won’t even be here!! Kinda sad, but ehh… it’s my mother, yannoe? And it’s her birthday~ Birthdays are a big deal to me.

I can’t believe I wrote, “I truly believe I am a pirate. FSSP 2007″ on my forehead today. Ahaha, it’s for Pirates vs. Ninjas and that was the safety! My Ethics professor asked me about it, and luckily another girl had it on her forehead, too, so it made it less awkward. xD; Ah, fun stuff.

Was this over before it ever began?
*le sigh*

For once, the title of this post comes not from any song lyrics, but a word that explains exactly what happened to my mood today. There was an inexplicable fluctuation for which I feel really bad. From confidence to self-doubt in 60 seconds. This isn't who I am. And, there will always be some form of Bayside lyrics to help describe how I feel. As I was using the StumbleUpon plugin it went to the Way Back Machine (which I definitely already knew about), and starting looking for my old blog when it was at Dakishime.Net. I found 4 entries from 2004 that I did not manage to save when I moved over from DakiNET to Heart-strutter.org. So, I just copy & pasted the old entries and re-added them to my blog. They're really retarded entries, but they're memories nonetheless. Today, I got my Pacsun clothes. :] Yeah, I totally did some online shopping last week and all my packages are arriving. lol. ^_^; Anyway, that's what happens when you're hypomanic...  you like to spend money. *shrugs* I'm going home tomorrow to spend time with my mother as it's her birthday on Tuesday (9/11), but considering I'm in SB I can't go over there on Tuesday. This weekend is so big for FSSP and I won't even be here!! Kinda sad, but ehh... it's my mother, yannoe? And it's her birthday~ Birthdays are a big deal to me. I can't believe I wrote, "I truly believe I am a pirate. FSSP 2007" on my forehead today. Ahaha, it's for Pirates vs. Ninjas and that was the safety! My Ethics professor asked me about it, and luckily another girl had it on her forehead, too, so it made it less awkward. xD; Ah, fun stuff. Was this over before it ever began? *le sigh*

It feels much better to know that you won’t feel a thing.
Well don’t talk about it;
Write it down but don’t ask for help.
I can’t be honest with even myself.
Did you ever wish you were somebody else?

This is how I lead my life. I will continually be better able to express my emotion in words written to no one in particular [blog]. And then this morning I betrayed a hidden part of myself to someone. And it makes me feel sick. Hopefully I can stop at the point in which I did and all confessionals of mine forgotten soon. Though I hate to admit it, I rather be seen as a “cute-sy” naive little girl, than let anyone in on the real me.

I almost just want to make an all-lyrics entry. You know, I can just quote all the lyrics that represent how I feel, but that would be the easier way of getting out of explaining myself.

Honestly, I’m only blogging because of the blogathon, but I don’t have anything of substance to say. Today started off very well, and I seem sort of apathetic right now. On the bright side, I got Paramore’s Riot and Circa Survive’s On Letting Go in the mail today from Bestbuy.com.  Alright, so I’m a little late in getting those CDs, but it’s only because I need to take some ACTION in listening to new music that will serve to inspire me.

When you open up
You let yourself seem vulnerable
And the morning sun
Will make our bodies comfortable
In taking off your clothes
Everything hidden is suddenly exposed

You’ll keep it on the inside
‘Cause that’s the safest place
‘Cause that’s the safest place to hide

Interestingly enough, two unexpected people called me today; Valerie and E.H. called. Like always the latter called to ask for my opinion on the very same topic he always asks about. My opinion will not change, so I don’t understand the redundancy in asking me continually. The former called to ask how I’m doing. My response? Read my blog. I rely too heavily on what I write. I can’t bring myself to say anything — it’s just too hard to express myself.

For FSSP, both towers are playing Ninjas vs. Pirates. It’s kinda fun doing the safeties and trying to walk discreetly in the halls to make sure the person that needs to attack you isn’t hanging around the corner. It’d be very easy to attack the person I have, but I haven’t really made any attempts. She’s too far away; she’s on a far away floor in the other tower. Hahah.

So today I fixed Hailey’s laptop. And I am now realizing that I only ate once today, but that’s okay. “Billy’s” letter got sent out today. Yesterday, I sent out Linda’s. I’m waiting for Elizabeth’s letter, which will hopefully be longgg. I have resumed my “exercises”, but not as much as I used to. In steps! XD; I’m doing half of what I used to do… emo. Anyway, some is better than none. David and Hailey spent the greater part of the day in my room, and that was fun. Not too much else.
This entry is rather random, and I’m sleepy already. No, it’s more like I’m just too depressed to keep forcing these thoughts. Twitter is awesome. Everyone should at least consider joining. I enabled it on my cell, too, so now I can describe what I’m doing at all times of the day, even on-the-go. (:

My love is mutilation.

—————-
Now playing: Circa Survive – The Difference Between Medicine And Poison Is In The Dose
via FoxyTunes

It feels much better to know that you won't feel a thing. Well don't talk about it; Write it down but don't ask for help. I can't be honest with even myself. Did you ever wish you were somebody else? This is how I lead my life. I will continually be better able to express my emotion in words written to no one in particular [blog]. And then this morning I betrayed a hidden part of myself to someone. And it makes me feel sick. Hopefully I can stop at the point in which I did and all confessionals of mine forgotten soon. Though I hate to admit it, I rather be seen as a "cute-sy" naive little girl, than let anyone in on the real me. I almost just want to make an all-lyrics entry. You know, I can just quote all the lyrics that represent how I feel, but that would be the easier way of getting out of explaining myself. Honestly, I'm only blogging because of the blogathon, but I don't have anything of substance to say. Today started off very well, and I seem sort of apathetic right now. On the bright side, I got Paramore's Riot and Circa Survive's On Letting Go in the mail today from Bestbuy.com.  Alright, so I'm a little late in getting those CDs, but it's only because I need to take some ACTION in listening to new music that will serve to inspire me. When you open up You let yourself seem vulnerable And the morning sun Will make our bodies comfortable In taking off your clothes Everything hidden is suddenly exposed You'll keep it on the inside 'Cause that's the safest place 'Cause that's the safest place to hide Interestingly enough, two unexpected people called me today; Valerie and E.H. called. Like always the latter called to ask for my opinion on the very same topic he always asks about. My opinion will not change, so I don't understand the redundancy in asking me continually. The former called to ask how I'm doing. My response? Read my blog. I rely too heavily on what I write. I can't bring myself to say anything -- it's just too hard to express myself. For FSSP, both towers are playing Ninjas vs. Pirates. It's kinda fun doing the safeties and trying to walk discreetly in the halls to make sure the person that needs to attack you isn't hanging around the corner. It'd be very easy to attack the person I have, but I haven't really made any attempts. She's too far away; she's on a far away floor in the other tower. Hahah. So today I fixed Hailey's laptop. And I am now realizing that I only ate once today, but that's okay. "Billy's" letter got sent out today. Yesterday, I sent out Linda's. I'm waiting for Elizabeth's letter, which will hopefully be longgg. I have resumed my "exercises", but not as much as I used to. In steps! XD; I'm doing half of what I used to do... emo. Anyway, some is better than none. David and Hailey spent the greater part of the day in my room, and that was fun. Not too much else. This entry is rather random, and I'm sleepy already. No, it's more like I'm just too depressed to keep forcing these thoughts. Twitter is awesome. Everyone should at least consider joining. I enabled it on my cell, too, so now I can describe what I'm doing at all times of the day, even on-the-go. (: My love is mutilation. ---------------- Now playing: Circa Survive - The Difference Between Medicine And Poison Is In The Dose via FoxyTunes