to Speak

We are mortals, you and I. There is only my dying and your dying and nothing beyond. You will die and there is nothing beyond. I shall slowly disappear until my heart stops its soft padding against the lining of my chest. Until then, the drive to speak continues, incessantly. Until then, we carry on. After that, there is nothing.
— Simon Critchley, Very Little… Almost Nothing

Weather // Whether

I’m dreaming of a fall wardrobe and colder weather. The issue is whether or not the temperature is going to drop any time soon…

I’ve really been eyeing items from my usual favorite brands: Everlane, AYR, Cuyana, and really lusting after a new makeup routine as well. Every fashionista is rocking the oxblood but I’m content just to experience a few new black, white, grey, and blue classic pieces.


People I Know

While I’ve been a complete hermit and recluse this entire year I do admit I know some people. While I’m not as close to this lovely lady as I wish I were I’m still looking to her as a source of inspiration.


A lot of questions come to mind when looking at this. For starters, why did it take her 5 years to complete  her Bachelor’s degree? Then… it’s like OK she thought she was going to be a teacher and she did teach 2 months short of 5 years. Then boom she’s in law school. To my knowledge teachers don’t earn very much in the beginning. So aside from knowing her family is well-off how did she pay for law school? Where did that decision come about?

Anyway. I feel like her teaching credential is similar to my personal equivalent of this A.A. I’m currently pursuing. I just feel like I need to figure out what my game plan is going to be. I don’t want to waste time/years waiting to spring into action.

But anyway… looking at other peoples’ educational pursuits really inspires me and lets me go, OK this isn’t so weird. You go one way then you just veer left and go in another direction. And it’s still consistent with your overarching life goals.

Regardless I still need to figure out just how long I’m going to work before applying to some type of graduate school program. Certainly though, I’m not going to make any kind of move until I know.

Sigh… but it’s just that these programs require application a year in advance you know… and I need to study for the entrance exams… and ughajdfahsldf stressed.