Some of my 101 goals involve daily activities. It’s definitely getting hard to do so as I get busier and busier, but so long as I remember and make an effort to accomplish these things I should be fine.

I think I’ll just post photos onto the 365 blog and call this my blog for the day.

Well, shit.. I have so much to talk about, but I’m exhausted. Just exhausted.

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I love that song by Madonna. The title also just feels appropriate.

Yesterday was a horrible day between my mother and I. Today it’s not as bad… I don’t understand. I just have my moods, I guess. But so does she? I mean, it was 4am and she woke up and started saying I’m crazy for still being up and awake. Well, I mean, what the hell? Sometimes I just can’t sleep… and I wake up at the same time as she does, practically (maybe an hour or so after), so what’s the big deal? My sleeping patterns are completely different from hers, but she even said so herself this morning that she needs to control every aspect of what’s going on in her house. Blahblahblah. I didn’t really give a shit and I refused to go to sleep until I felt like it (which was just shortly after our argument, making it a waste of breath to argue, but I wasn’t going to give in). Times like that I just don’t think, my mind blanks, and I don’t really give a shit about anything.

Today I feel slightly more productive and I’m trying to help Mom clean around the house. Fuck… I hate being so … weird.

Being weird makes me wish I didn’t have friends. I find I feel this way a lot of the time. Not everyone knows about my crazy behind-closed-doors life, but there’s a certain weight I carry around with me at all times just because I’ve been through “things”… whatever. Sometimes this past of mine makes me rather inconsiderate. Most times I’m understanding and I’ll listen when people want to vent about their problems, and even suggest a few things from a neutral point of view. Ugh, but then other times it annoys me because some people have such pointless small issues that I feel it’s not even worth worrying about. Times like those I feel exasperated and want to just… scream aloud that their lives are great compared to mine so they ought to stop complaining. Eh… tragedy is relative. I’m just blinded sometimes.

My mindset is just so messed up a lot of the time. Because of it I just don’t want anyone to have to deal with me. Shit, I don’t even want to deal with myself.

Lol, lots of my entries lately have been solely about thoughts and not at all about what I’ve been doing. Different style of entries. They like to take turns.

I’m doing well on my 101 in 1001 so far. I’ve been taking photos every day and blogging every day as well. So far so good!! I’m trying to get Rona to start a list, too, for several reasons. For one, it’s one of my goals to get someone else to do this with me, but also because… I personally feel she can benefit from making a list like this. Even though I’ve already started mine, if we finish around the same time (in 2.75 years) we’re going to have to constantly remind each other about the list and not lose hope. (:

La la la la la.

—————-
Now playing: 50 Cent - Just A Little Bit
via FoxyTunes

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Yesterday was harsh… so very harsh. I spent hours trying to configure two Wordpress blogs on Heart-Strutter.org. I had to change database names, change folder permissions, change the .htaccess, make a new .htaccess… it was rather stressful! And then finally after both blogs got to working I couldn’t upload a photo I wanted because the max file size was too small. Frustrating, really. I have no idea how to change the max upload file size on Wordpress. Some suggested adding some things to the .htaccess, but as soon as I did it broke both blogs.

Anyway, here’s the photoblog I’m talking about: 365. I haven’t uploaded all the photos I want yet because of all the technical issues! I’ll get to it. (: Two images a day. They’re for Project 365 and Flickr 365 Portrait-A-Day challenges. I hope I can keep up!! I’m doing well on the blogging, too.

The only thing keeping me awake is love.

I can’t bother explaining, but I think I’m going to sleep soon. Sometimes it’s hard to know when I’m sleepy and when my contacts are just bothering me. In a way there are things to do, and it’s not that I don’t want to, but I fear reading or watching a movie will put me to sleep. I started coding the next layout of Heart-strutter a little bit ago, but I don’t want to rush it too much so I will continue it later today, at a better hour.

Just a few more site modifications and I’m going to sleep.

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