A little more depression. Spending time with boardies today helped a little.

Restrictions by Merrit Malloy:

[S]he thinks ‘being strong’
is holding back
and hiding our feelings
when ‘being strong’ has always been
letting go and allowing our feelings
to be
felt
Internal bleeding is
always more
dangerous
…Even joy becomes a burden
when you can’t
laugh

Kayleigh let me read a book of poetry by Merrit Malloy she owns today while we were chillin’ at Anisqo’yo park. It was nice just spending the afternoon with boardies. *yawns* Technically we were “working” - we had an event: Open Mic, but it was mostly just us hanging around while some people sang, read poetry, played instruments, etc.

Mm, I have “work” again at 9… Security for the Magic Lantern movie. I did it yesterday night as well and after everyone was inside I got to watch the movie. Lulz. Such a chill job. ASPB rox my sox. (:

My mom came by earlier to drop off some stuff for me. Ugh, she basically came for an hour, transferred as much negative energy as possible and left. UGHHHH. That woman kills me. All she does is complain and talk shit about as many people as possible. Seriously. WTF.

@violetmae just twittered about some site Now Do This. Talk about super simple and cute!! I love it~

I constantly like to reason things emotionally. Badddd. It’s been a while since I last wrote in my moleskine. That’s what I should do when I get back from work at midnight. Hmhmhm.

Lately I just barely even have time to eat… and yeah my jeans were a little bit looser but I didn’t really pay much attention… but then a few days ago I put on a pair of jeans that are a size smaller and uh they fit. Yey? Haha… not exactly planned weight loss but whatever. I dun care. xD;

It’s been getting harder and harder to keep talking with Elizabeth. I call her during the little free time I have or in the minutes between when I’m walking to class. =\ This weekend I’ll definitely try to call her … Ack and last night when I got back from work and I was doing homework Eric wanted to call me but I had to be all, “Nuuuuh, hwwww!” and I feel kinda bad (even if we mostly always talk about the same subject and he annoys me most days).

Blame it on bad luck and shake responsibility.
Do you ever wake up to realize your life is meaningless?

Tralalala. Hey love, I miss you<3

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Week two. I’m not as stressed, but it is crunch time. Just this week and next left and then I’m done with Session E. I have to say I’m doing quite well in Japanese, getting excellent marks and such. (: It certainly is intense, but the good thing is it’s hard to forget the material when you’re quizzed every single day (forreal). Keep up with the pace.

I have another quiz in Ital 114X tomorrow and I’m a bit nervous… but I’ll definitely be studying from 12 to 4 before class. Though I can proudly say tomorrow that I have read Inferno by Dante. And then move on to Purgatorio. Yeeahh. (:

Mm, showed another movie at IV Theater today. ‘Twas good. Wish Publicity would do more advertising, though. And heyyy I get paid to go watch a movie every week - who doesn’t love that? (: $25 for 2.5 hours. Boooomb. Hahaha. I love AS Program Board.

There are two quizzes tomorrow for me. Probably I should be doing homework or studying at the very least. My mind is definitely elsewhere at the moment. Mainly been doing a lot of writing in my spare time. Yey for that. Staying off ze i-nets has been different, if anything.

I could not help but notice a serious lack of depression lately. This makes me incredibly happy, but a lil’ weary, too… that this is the calm before the storm. *shrugs* Let’s just hope I’m on the happier side of the spectrum for some time to come. Er… though I’m noticing I’m just a bit more apathetic that I’d like, and a little bit more cruel (it’s not that noticeable to others as I keep it under wraps), but still. That’s just the way my brain balances me out then I guess.

Today Ryan S. was discussing blindness, color blindness, etc. before the movie began and we had an interesting debate… but it need not be retold. Needless to say my interest is piqued and I think I’ll be learning something of color theory in color blind people in Philosophy of Mind fall quarter. (;

There is much to do!! *runs off to multi-task*

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I’ve been noticing lately I’m a lot bitchier, more easily agitated… and etc. Being so extra judgmental is no favorite past-time of mine but I still do it all the time, and a lot lately… This is so not a good quality and I have no right to judge anyone. My sense of morality is by no means the correct way of life or anything like that.

THOUGH! Today I got accused of judging someone I wasn’t even fucking judging. Bitch is judging herself for sleeping with him and she got all defensive on me. It came out of nowhere and I had to yell to tell her, “I have class from 8 to 12, homework and work in the middle of the day, class from 5-7, and then work again. My day does not revolve around you. I don’t have time to go around judging you.” At which point I just said I had to go to work (I did), said bye, and hung up. UGH. /vent

Anyway, we had a really good turnout for Charlie Bartlett today at IV Theater. Yeeeah. And I love going up on the stage making announcements. (: The first time I was a little bit nervous to go up there but now it’s so easy and just kinda fun. Haha… before the movie we even played a youtube video… the one where the little boy puts his finger in a baby’s mouth and he says, “Charlie bit me.” Looool. It’s was Jordan’s idea to put it up and everyone was laughing. Good stuff~

Aites, this was just a really quick entry as I have two quizzes tomorrow. ): And I had two today as well. Blah. Emo status! So busy…

Click this to see my pain. ): Lol…

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