A Quick Evaluation of Self

“Don’t you miss me?”
“What’s there to miss?”

“Can we go to Griffith Park like the good ol’ days? Just ‘cus I’m 20 doesn’t mean I can’t be like in the good ol’ days.”
“No, you can come over. But you can’t ask for things. But you can come visit.”

I’m wondering where I went horribly wrong. She called me to ask me how I’m doing with money and if I would like for her to transfer some money to my account. But then I told her I’m not going home because no one ever comes to visit me (since the reason she called was asking why I hadn’t been over in a while). Even my aunt, she called me yesterday to see how I was doing. And she said she misses me, so I told her that if she does she could come visit me. She said no.

This is going to be a year-long grudge. I’ll call them all on their birthdays (except Elvia) to wish them happy birthdays, but I’m not going over to celebrate with them. They didn’t come here to celebrate with me. And George didn’t call me until 7pm. So… whatever. He’ll get a very late phone call from me on his birthday. Year-long grudge. And my grudges usually don’t even last a day.

Her rude remarks followed by my swift goodbyes and then she tells me she loves me, repeatedly. At this moment in time, I don’t love you. You’re such a bitch! Ugh. I’m typing… and I’m getting over it as we speak.

There are two separate topics in this entry, I just realized.

I’m not going home for spring break. I have plenty to do here. So much reading, writing, etccccc. It’s all good. Ugh. I’m okay with her just giving me some money here and there. That’s an okay relationship. It works.

Ugh, geez… I hope there are some YouTube videos to watch to help me lighten up my mood. (: And after all I am going on my super amazing shopping spree come Friday!!! So it is super okay. ^_^

Edit: You know, I was at a park today and I thought of my mom. It made me want to spend time with her. It made me miss my family. I can only take so much negativity. I seriously don’t know where I went wrong.

I Guess It’s Time For An Entry

I’m totally slacking off on the posting, but words aren’t coming easy.

Things are a lot different this summer. And I’m not entirely sure I appreciate all the changes. I’m always really wary of change. Usually change means things getting worse. So rarely do things get better.

Celebrated Auntie El’s birthday this weekend at the only hotel in Downey. It was OK. Nothing special at all. But it’s pet friendly and El wanted Perlita there. The highlight was Elizabeth visiting me at the hotel!!! (: We chatted it up for a little while and fantasized having children together. *lol* <3 that girl so much!!!

Yesterday we went to some Guatemalan fair and then a Guatemalan restaurant. All of it was culturally disappointing. Hahaha. Mom and El started shit-talking “our people” – but ugh! Seriously. Lol.

I’m still in Downey, and leaving tomorrow because I work the ASPB Movie. Ooh! And then I’m working Merch at the Jack Johnson concert on Wednesday. For 12 hours. o_o; Yeah, pretty hardcore. Haha, but whatevz ‘cus I loooove doing merch!! (:

Okok gonna watch some more lame TV shows tonight.

Oh, my life

I love The Juliana Theory. I’m only sad they’re not together anymore. All good things must come to an end some time. I’d give you my hand if you’d reach out and grab it.

The Program Retreat took place this weekend during my birthday, which I was a little bummed about because I could have gone to Sacramento with people in AS. However, I had more fun with Program Board than I think I would have had had I gone with AS to Sacramento. We only went like an hour north to Oxnard, but the hotel and restaurant we went to were really nice.

Saturday afternoon we left from the Program Board office and arrived at The Whale’s Tail at around 2pm. At that time we started our meeting and kept that up for two hours. I had not eaten anything so far that day so I was seriously hungry. Luckily we got some appetizers at 4pm and then continued the meeting for another hour. Basically we talked about Extravaganza ’08 and the Spring Event line-up. Finally at 6pm we had dinner. Delicious!

Towards the end they got me a mini-cake and sang happy birthday and all that. Hah, ’twas cute!

After six hours at the restaurant we finally left and went to Golf ‘n Stuff (miniature golfing). Lots of funnn. After we finished the course we all got on the bumper cars. I was doing so well until the end… lmao. Mike started slowing down so I did as well because I couldn’t really pass him. By that time the rest of the group caught up, and the brakes were so shifty… and Paula and I crashed into each other. >_>; Awkward… right at the very end where everyone can see you. Lol. At the arcade there I saw amazing DDR players. It makes me miss playing so badly! However, until I can do something about my PS2 I can’t play. (I haven’t been very active in trying to open it with something.)

Anyway, at 9pm I called Twinkie to wish him a happy birthday. That fool’s in the Eastern time zone so it was technically both of our birthdays all at once! (: I don’t call him Twin-kie for nothin’.

When we got back to the hotel it wasn’t that late so the other people went to go get alcohol and they partied it up. Lol… I just stayed in my hotel room (alone!) talking to Elizabeth for an hour and a half on the phone. By the time we finished talking it was 1:30am and I was just really tired so I went to sleep.

I’m pretty sure I was the first to wake up out of the 22 of us. lol… I’m probably the one that got the most rest &all that. I set my alarm to 8am, knowing that on a Sunday it would take me an hour to wake up. Sure enough I got up sometime around 9 and started getting ready/dressed for breakfast. The breakfast was aites, but I got full way too fast so I didn’t really enjoy much of anything.

Afterward we all went to the parking lot underground to put all our stuff in the car. We had to line up and hold onto the shoulders of the person in front of us. Our eyes were closed. The person at the very front of the line was the only one who could see and they had to lead us. When there were stairs they would have to tell the person behind them and so on. It was pretty dope. Everyone got to lead for a little while and by the time I started leading we were on the beach. Sandddyy that’s for sure.

We played so many games and just bonded♥ It was so much fun. (: Loved it!!

On the drive back lots of old songs (and by that I mean 90s) were playing and it was just so chill and awesome. (Listen to The Cranberries – Dreams) Weekend = success.

Btw, it took me 4 hours to write this entry… lmao. Ballet stretches, dinner, TV, chillaxing, etc. However, at one point I did fall off my chair… and it hit my chin. That hurt for all of like half an hour. ): At least I didn’t die. It could have been worse; I shook the TV stand and no joke all that shit could’ve fallen on me. lol…

Oh, my life is changing everyday, in every possible way.

Now playing: The Juliana Theory – Into the Dark
via FoxyTunes