My calendar is so packed this month and next month… I feel fatigue just thinking about it. Right now trying to plan my fitness schedule in a concrete way is draining. I feel pre-lazy. But once it’s on my schedule, I follow through 100%. So it’s easier for me to permanently ink in my plans.
My predominant feeling these days is tired. Just plain tired. Not fully exhausted, not fully drained – just a little bit on the tired side.
I’ve been non-stop every day. Back to back plans for days and days. I hardly sleep on the weekends. And the weekdays are even more busy and the hours more limited and chance to recoup sleep slim.
I’m no longer unhappy but I’m not happy either. It would take too many words, too many emotions, just plain more than I have to explain. But interestingly I found this post in my archives and it makes me so incredibly angry because I know it reminds me of him.
Some quotes of interest to me this evening:
“Although I feel that my tragedy is the greatest in history—greater than the fall of empires—I am nevertheless aware of my total insignificance. I am absolutely persuaded that I am nothing in this universe; yet I feel that mine is the only real existence.”