You Will Not Die…

Listening to Blessthefall is pretty great, especially when it’s so loud you know the neighbors can hear it and even better right after you’ve just finished playing artists like TLC, Coolio, R. Kelly, and Michael Jackson. What can I say? I like me some vaaaried genres of music!

Keeping up with reading for classes really isn’t that bad! It’s all about pacing yourself and really getting down to it every day, without exception (uh except Friday and Saturday are my school-work-free days; that’s my law). All my classes are going very well so far. There are some times with I sort of trip out thinking, “Oh which of these classes am I going to fail? Probably Health Psych, or hmm… nah probabaly Stats.” But then! I read the textbook and it’s so easy to read… and I do my stats homework and I remember how well I did in it in high-school that I tell myself it’s *not* a big deal and then I sincerely believe it. Take it a day at a time!

Never thought I’d say this but Philosophy of Mind is going too slow! I’m so eager to learn more that I want the professor to keep giving us material and really I could sit there for a few hours… because one hour is not enough! Seriously… and I thought I had it bad for Phill 100A which was upper-division Ethics. Hehe… ^^;

Wow this weekend I spent more money than I should have… but oh well… I’m happy with everything I got! Tadadadada lalala lalala… *humming* This song is washing some serious serenity over my body. Hah, that sounds all hippie-ish… ^^;

Next song, next emotion. They’re all so transient. From yesterday.

Here’s to some kind of rebirth.

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Self Deception

At what point do we stop being ourselves?

I haven’t really felt depressed all summer. I am concerned.

Spending time with friends is great.

Celebrating twin aunts’ birthday today even though it’s on Thursday of next week, reason being I’m leaving back to SB tomorrow morning.

Didn’t get into a single argument with any family relatives during my stay! Woah, woah. Forreal. (:

Why is my memory so bad? Mom kept telling me about all the things we used to do when I was younger and I couldn’t recall doing them, at all.

My schedule for Fall quarter for now:


  • Japanese 4
  • Philosophy of Mind
    • Discussion of some central questions about the mind: are people identical to their bodies? What is it to feel, believe, or desire something? What distinguishes intelligent thinking from a computer’s activities? What is the connection between language and thought?
  • Health Psychology
    • Introduction to concepts, theory, and research within the subdiscipline of health psychology. Relationships among behavioral factors, well being, and disease.
  • Jogging
  • Statistics for Psych majors

18.5 units. *cringes* Tbh, I’m probably going to drop Health Psych just because … I don’t know. Wait, why am I setting myself up for faaailure? ): I can do it. I can do it. *nods nods* Friday is freaking fucking awful. Ugh. But whatever, the other days I won’t start until 11. (: Yaay.

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There is no greater sorrow than to be mindful of the happy time in misery.

It’s called taking a half-hour nap, so don’t question my disheveled look. Why do I always feel I am to blame? And I’m currently blushing at the thought of someone potentially staring at me. Potentially. Maybe I’m just a wishful thinker with nothing better to do. The “potentially” makes me feel uncomfortable walking into class.

Oh, hey. Valerie called me today. We haven’t exchanged words in about a year because she’s in the army. It keeps her occupied.

Note to self: readership. How can I reduce comment anxiety? *emo face*

Dramarama. My Japanese class and I watched the first half hour of Water Boys, the movie, today. Over the course of the next two days we’ll be watching the rest of it. Two more days of class. Then oral interview. Then final. Kanji is my biggest issue, but I’m confident I’ll pull through OK.

There’s a sense of panic rising within me. I’m scared. And there’s nothing I can do. Walk the road most traveled with me. Walk the straight and narrow path with me. Forget it, let’s tread the waters. (I wonder if anyone realizes the brilliance of this paragraph lmao… Oh, allegory.)

Confessions of a justified sinner? Crime and punishment.

Quale è il mio peccato?

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Week two. I’m not as stressed, but it is crunch time. Just this week and next left and then I’m done with Session E. I have to say I’m doing quite well in Japanese, getting excellent marks and such. (: It certainly is intense, but the good thing is it’s hard to forget the material when you’re quizzed every single day (forreal). Keep up with the pace.

I have another quiz in Ital 114X tomorrow and I’m a bit nervous… but I’ll definitely be studying from 12 to 4 before class. Though I can proudly say tomorrow that I have read Inferno by Dante. And then move on to Purgatorio. Yeeahh. (:

Mm, showed another movie at IV Theater today. ‘Twas good. Wish Publicity would do more advertising, though. And heyyy I get paid to go watch a movie every week – who doesn’t love that? (: $25 for 2.5 hours. Boooomb. Hahaha. I love AS Program Board.

There are two quizzes tomorrow for me. Probably I should be doing homework or studying at the very least. My mind is definitely elsewhere at the moment. Mainly been doing a lot of writing in my spare time. Yey for that. Staying off ze i-nets has been different, if anything.

I could not help but notice a serious lack of depression lately. This makes me incredibly happy, but a lil’ weary, too… that this is the calm before the storm. *shrugs* Let’s just hope I’m on the happier side of the spectrum for some time to come. Er… though I’m noticing I’m just a bit more apathetic that I’d like, and a little bit more cruel (it’s not that noticeable to others as I keep it under wraps), but still. That’s just the way my brain balances me out then I guess.

Today Ryan S. was discussing blindness, color blindness, etc. before the movie began and we had an interesting debate… but it need not be retold. Needless to say my interest is piqued and I think I’ll be learning something of color theory in color blind people in Philosophy of Mind fall quarter. (;

There is much to do!! *runs off to multi-task*

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