Ok… well. Hello, depression.
It had to happen eventually. Happiness is fleeting. Yannoe… just got to wait it out. Wait for tomorrow. Tears in the fabric of my routine. I can’t stray. Just one more week. *sigh* (That’s technically not true… it’s more like 4 more weeks with session F… but can’t think too far in advance or I’ll break down)
The last thing I need right now is loss of vigor. I need it…
Randomly I’d like to say I love my twin’s blogging style. Mad props Victorialee(: Reading her entries inspires me to become a better writer even if her entries are just the mad ramblings of a growing woman. Much Looove to her, man. Seriously.
There are a million things I need to be doing right now. With no motivation to be found. ):
My mother is coming over this weekend… good thing/bad thing? I’m unsure. A little scared, maybe. Things could turn badly so quickly.
So far TODAY three people I follow on Twitter have complained about not being at Comicon. I like noticing trends. Just like everyone was twittering about Dr. Horrible. (Still have no idea who that is or why it’s so cool…)
/end rambling. This is most uninteresting.
I’m slightly perplexed by my lack of concern over the fact that a few nights ago I was seriously considering overdosing on a bunch of different pills.
And that is all.
Okay I’m going to take a few pills. Just to sleep for a day.
It’s 12:13am and I just took quadruple the dose of what I take for a night’s sleep. Two pills usually knock me out for 12ish hours so 4 ought to be a day… I was a bit too scared to take 5. In terms of mg 4 isn’t that bad actually, it’s just more than I’m used to taking. This wouldn’t be considered a suicide attempt would it? Nono, it’s only sleep for a day. *shrugs* Whatever.
This is what happened: I got slightly drowsy, but I didn’t fall asleep until 1:20am. It was extremely hot so I turned on the AC and just before falling asleep I felt completely wide awake.
Anyway, a short while after 1pm my mother was pounding on my door saying she had brought me food for lunch… but I pretended not to hear it. She eventually unlocked the door and just stared at me lying in bed. The pills were right beside my bed but I seriously doubt she noticed. Then again I didn’t have my contacts on so who knows what she saw. My little brother was right behind her looking in to see what all the drama was about, which is funny. He’s such a girl in that respect.
Finally at 3pm I woke up, my body feeling completely numb, and my brain a big fuzzy mess. I took a shower, but I still didn’t feel any more awake. I hate the feeling the pills give me when I wake up. By 4pm I walked to the living room and tried my best to read my email and shit like that, but it was really reallllyyy hard. Any sound sent alert signals to my brain telling it to wake up. It’s like when you’re about to fall asleep and a sound suddenly wakes you up - that’s the feeling. No fun, really.
Anyway then I called my aunt to see if she wanted to go with me to the Apple store to get my iPhone replaced (as it DIED completely when I plugged it into the wall charger). She said yezzz and surprisingly my lil’ brother wanted to come with as well. I was kind of scared driving seeing as I was still half asleep in my brain, but hahaha… we made it alive.
I now have my third iPhone in my possession. Geez, these things break too easily, but whatever ‘cus it’s way easy to get a new one as well.
AND THEN! We watched The Incredible Hulk. TONS of hearts to that movie. I looooooved it. Uh, but Liv Tyler still can’t act and she still sucks lots. She’s so ickyyy.
Ok, the end. Watching The Kite Runner now.
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