Apr
24

Losing Everything

This has been a strange month. A month of so much shock I can hardly react. There’s been too much to consider and too much to do.

On April 10 I lost my job.

On April 11 someone hit the back of my car while it was parked.

On April 24 I began an internship at Samantha Slaven Publicity in West Hollywood. Unpaid.

By May 1 I need to move out of my apartment. And move in with my mom.

I went from successful full-time employee with my very own grown up apartment to unpaid homeless girl. I mean not quite ~homeless~ because my mom is taking me in but… without a home to call my own.

It’s almost like April Fool’s decided to take over the entire month of April and take away everything that mattered to me.

My mom isn’t giving me a room – oh no, that would be asking for too much. She’s giving me one of the two rooms my brother uses. With his furniture IN IT. Meaning I won’t feel as though I have my own space. I won’t be able to decorate to make it feel like it’s my own space. I’m sort of devastated. Being able to use MY belongings in HER house would ***ease*** the transition of losing my PERFECT apartment in Long Beach. There’s nothing easy about the month of April.

I guess we can lay to rest all my other previously frivolous worries in life.

Nov
23

Work-Life Balance

If I could use a Hashtag right now, it’d be #sephoravalues. Just a side note, because I love hashtags. Hahaha… occasionally a hashtag will make its way into my every day conversation. Slightly awkward, but fun.

#EEEEEEEEE

Right. Let me walk away from the hashtags…

My work-life balance includes late-night after-work hangs with friends, taking care of the mother effing dishes (whoooo love it when they’re all clean!), washing my face, and doing a FACE MASK! (: I’m currently sporting Lush’s Cosmetic Warrior on my face. The garlic odor stings my eyes, that’s for damn sure. UH… LOVING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW? YESSSS!

Thanksgiving is coming uppp in just a few days! I’m so excited to go home… I haven’t gone back in so long! There just isn’t enough time, but since it’s a holiday no work and hence a reason to go home, too. Though I work Wednesday evening and Friday afternoon so it is for only a day. That’s all that is needed, really though. A good family dinner to appreciate them all the more. Cherish the small moments or whatever, right?

I already know what I’m wearing! Hopefully the weather will cooperate and let me wear what I want on Thursday, Thanksgiving.

Wake up time is pretty early tomorrow, as I have class at 9:30 so I best go to sleep soooooon (like now). And then I work at 1~ WOOT! And tomorrow is also pay day at Lush. And Friday is pay day at Sephora. Brb, hella excited. Slightly. But only slightly because I have a ridiculous amount of bills to pay. Shopping addictions aren’t free! D:

I think I got glitter in my eyes… Did I mention this is the season of GLITTER?

♥

Sep
14

This Heat

It’s making me nervous how every day feels the same
Meet my phantoms, they never seem to want to go away
So they stay

There have been several real-life to-my-face complaints regarding my blog as of late. Those that have stumbled back to my blog have started asking me why I’m not writing anything with personal denotations. Technically, my entries had personal connotations thrown in, but this seems to not be enough for anyone. I wasn’t sure anyone cared, I wasn’t sure I wanted to write. Scratch that, I was still writing so as not to forget the existence of my blog, but personal matters are the furthest from my mind when it comes to writing right now because it’s what I deal with on the daily.

I found a good place for everyone I know to come and rest
All I ever wanted is for everyone I know to come and rest
Meet my Phantoms

Officially, my third year of college starts in a week and a half though I’ve been a junior for many months now. I’m still very much confused about school but the best action is inaction; I continue to unquestioningly enroll and attend my classes despite not liking the direction I am headed. Given recent developments I want to come back home, take a break from school… do something real. Let’s not get hasty, though. Inaction is the best action.

How’s your body, how clean is your soul?
Why are you trying to steal my thoughts before they talk?
Fall right in, let’s talk Maurice
If everything’s fine, then what are you waiting for?

Summer flew me by. Many problems arose. Lots of hangs went down. Transient accomplishments. Vague emotions. Music discoveries. And a heavy dose of forced independence.

Let’s end with: A strong sense of helplessness.

(It’s all about waiting it out.)

Mar
15

A Quick Evaluation of Self

“Don’t you miss me?”
“What’s there to miss?”

“Can we go to Griffith Park like the good ol’ days? Just ‘cus I’m 20 doesn’t mean I can’t be like in the good ol’ days.”
“No, you can come over. But you can’t ask for things. But you can come visit.”

I’m wondering where I went horribly wrong. She called me to ask me how I’m doing with money and if I would like for her to transfer some money to my account. But then I told her I’m not going home because no one ever comes to visit me (since the reason she called was asking why I hadn’t been over in a while). Even my aunt, she called me yesterday to see how I was doing. And she said she misses me, so I told her that if she does she could come visit me. She said no.

This is going to be a year-long grudge. I’ll call them all on their birthdays (except Elvia) to wish them happy birthdays, but I’m not going over to celebrate with them. They didn’t come here to celebrate with me. And George didn’t call me until 7pm. So… whatever. He’ll get a very late phone call from me on his birthday. Year-long grudge. And my grudges usually don’t even last a day.

Her rude remarks followed by my swift goodbyes and then she tells me she loves me, repeatedly. At this moment in time, I don’t love you. You’re such a bitch! Ugh. I’m typing… and I’m getting over it as we speak.

There are two separate topics in this entry, I just realized.

I’m not going home for spring break. I have plenty to do here. So much reading, writing, etccccc. It’s all good. Ugh. I’m okay with her just giving me some money here and there. That’s an okay relationship. It works.

Ugh, geez… I hope there are some YouTube videos to watch to help me lighten up my mood. (: And after all I am going on my super amazing shopping spree come Friday!!! So it is super okay. ^_^

Edit: You know, I was at a park today and I thought of my mom. It made me want to spend time with her. It made me miss my family. I can only take so much negativity. I seriously don’t know where I went wrong.

Feb
17

Leaf in the Wind

There isn’t much for me to say as of late. Life is continuing quite normally and beautifully. It’s funny, not having anything to say when things are going well. But I’m not, for any reason, going to convince myself that I need depression to write. My thoughts are so much clearer, I’m acting completely responsible and mature and life is great.

There is no need to dwell on what I am missing in life (if anything) and no need to convince myself that I have to write deeply and profoundly all the time. Since words aren’t necessarily coming to mind at this moment in my life, pictures must suffice. Looking back I hope I appreciate these captured memories and forgive my lack of effort in explaining where I am at this moment. The quality is not so great because all of these were taken with my iPhone.

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No makeup. But still feeling pretty. I had to capture it.

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Standing in front of our fireplace. I’m little and it’s really big. I thought it was funny. ^_^;

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Eating healthy! And I’m a total fruit. Cranberry juice. Strawberries. Banana nut muffin sans the nuts (they weren’t to my liking).

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Getting a little creative… (and a little romantic?? hahah)! Bowl filled with marbles with a candle in the center. (:

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Bowl I made at Color Me Mine!! :D It’s lavender on the outside with purples flowers and super bright and cheery orange on the inside. I love this bowl!!

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Diamond necklace Aunt Elvia gave me recently. It’s blurry because it’s hard to take pictures of diamonds… but there are 43 of them. I lovelovelove it.

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Book my Uncle George gave me… hahahah. And another HDMI cable for me~

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Heart-shaped chocolate cake my Aunt Mary made me for Valentine’s Day!!! :D It was yummy and super pretty because 2 year old Midori decorated it~

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Heart-shaped ring that my aunt used to tie the bag the cake was in. :D Super cute right! Yep, my Aunt is the cutest thing~~!!

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It’s been a long rainy day so hair waved up a little but I straightened my hair for the first time in almost a year!

I emailed the pic to my family (we email each other pics all the time looool <3 ) and my Aunt Meme said I look like this hispanic actress:

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Yeah… I’ll take it!!! She’s beautiful!!!! :D Hahaha

And this has been a segment of my life since I’ve not blogged in a while.

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