Tears

Now and again I crave a Lover’s brew
despite the bitter note that follows through
close my eyes and taste the fantasy
knowing well and good it does deceive

but dawn it coaxes certain phrases out
turn on the light ‘fore magic burneth out
and in the dark you’ll see whats meant to be
is only marrow’s error and a plea

to fall away
leave me in an almost state of grace
and when its through
i’ll be just another ghost to you

now as it is we’ll part as deities do
we’ll kiss and pay respect where love is due
because we’ve reached the edge of paradise
before we’ve tasted fruit that does entice

we fall away
leave me in an almost state of grace
and when its through
i’ll be just another ghost to you

but then i think of just how brave you are
a child that’s never fallen down too hard
and i’m inclined to love you anyway
and pray for bits of whimsy in heartache

so fall away
leave me in an almost state of grace
and when its through
i’ll be just another ghost to you
fall away
leave me in an almost state of grace…

— kadhja bonet

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Travel Hymn.

Circa Survive’s “Travel Hymn”

It came across like you were mad
Holding in your breath with everything you had
Until your face began to turn red
“This is why I turn and walk away from everything”
I need to feel it closer now.
“This is why I turn and walk away from everything”
I never thought it’d be like this

Between the seal a church is revealed.
And I would rather be…

Lonely along the way
Something set us off into the wrong direction
but within this particular space,
Time goes to waste.
Time goes to waste…
Time goes to waste…
Time goes…

It came across like you were mad,
Holding in your breath with everything you had…
Until your face began to turn red.

Between the seal a church is revealed
And I would rather be…

Lonely along the way
Something set us off into the wrong direction
but within this particular space…

Time starts to slow down
and all of these patterns never change.
So slow down,
’cause nobody looks at life the same.
And no one was like this ’til you came along
and reset our dials all wrong.

Lonely along the way
Something set us off into the wrong direction
but within this particular space,
Time goes to waste.

Lonely along the way
Something set us off into the wrong direction
but within this particular space,
Time goes to waste.

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That Would Mean This Meant Something

We need no proper ending, that would mean this meant something.

Anthony Green on Saturday was mind-blowingly amazing. No words can really describe the feeling to encapsulate the experience at The Fox in Pomona. I’ve seen Anthony Green perform several times over these past few years – his solo stuff and Circa Survive. Any venue he’s performed at nearby I’ve gone and I also had the pleasure of meeting him at UCSB when we brought him to our school (uhm yeah I died). Anyway, this Saturday his energy was at an all time high. I mean he was really into it. He poured his heart into the performance. And I could feel it!

I could scarcely sing along because the words were getting caught in my throat, and at one point I felt my body kind of shake at the emotion the songs were causing in me. I don’t even remember on what song that first happened, I was just caught up in Anthony Green world. My heart was just feeling so FULL and I could literally feel this bursting emotion like when I feel love.

And yes I do love me some Anthony Green music. Even if I can’t relate to the song, they’re so meaningful and beautiful and personal. And suddenly a song will take on new meaning and with each successive listen it means something new. I hear new nuances all the time.

I want to relive that concert over and over. Get that feeling back. I miss that feeling of love. It’s so hard to feel that way, for me anyway. So today, on this day of love, I am a mixture of amazingly happy and disastrously sad. But life goes on and the best we can do to make the sadness go away is to focus on all the Beautiful Things.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂

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Cinnamon

Note to self: Make blog post for Elizabeth regarding morality and beliefs.

Lolol… so the title comes from one of Rona’s slip-ups. Since she makes fun of me all the time when I say something not to her liking (video, wolf, etc.) I decided to laugh about it. She makes me happy~~ 😀

I’m currently supposed to write a rough-draft of an original argument. The problem is that the essay’s topic is on ME. Ugh. I cannot write three pages on one of my personal traits, and demonstrate why that characterizes me. Three pages is too much. Blah. So to make it interesting, since we need two outside sources, I’m thinking of describing how  I’m happy using Aristotle’s definition of happiness. Lol… if I can make it about philosophy I will! Otherwise ugh… this is not an assignment I’m looking forward to writing. Tyler provided us with an article so we could use that and pick between being like Athenians or Visigoths… and so far I’ve always opted for the choice of picking some outside article to write my essays. Not this time though. I prefer writing analyses or critiques not original arguments.

This thing is due at midnight… alkfjlsfjlsjdf. What the hell. =\ At least I currently have a 99% in the class, though. *shrugs* Writing in stream-of-consciousness for about 10 minutes sometimes helps to get the writing process kick-started. I don’t really believe that, but I haven’t really been blogging so there ya go.

To keep myself happy I’ve been singing along to the Repo! soundtrack. Hahaha… but it’s sort of distracting, too.

Oh yeahhh… this is just a rough draft! I need to remember that. Though I do always write the entirety of my essay the first go-round so that for the final I just edit. Writing 2 sucks! I hate that UCSB doesn’t let you test out of it.

This weekend ought to be pretty fun, though, with me turning 20 and all that! 😀 Okkk, back to writing ze essay~!!

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