Nov
13

After Some Contemplation

Originally when I opened up a tab to write an entry (an hour ago) I was considering discussing my mini-breakdown yesterday. You know, describe those moments of anguish, panic, lack of decisiveness, random tangets, distractions, etc. but now I don’t so much feel like doing it anymore. I am over it.

Something about that bothers me. Just a little. Only yesterday I was ranting and raving, thinking about throwing one of my textbooks out the window, etc., and now… that just sounds so overly dramatic. Granted, I still feel the same (re: lack of decisiveness), but the emotions are gone. My mind is exhausted and I’ve used up every last reserve of emotion. Let’s wait till my tank of emotion fills up again. Then maybe I will feel something again. ^_^

Oh yes… this week has been full of bad decision-making and quite frankly, I am apathetic to it all. Not a good sign of things to come. Not at all. Winter’s coming, depression’s coming, apathy’s coming, a whole whirlwind of bad things are coming my way!

Er… and a random addition to this entry:

[20:30] xportraitbruise: why my brain dying, bbkakez?
[20:30] Ryan: bbkakez you say?
[20:30] Ryan: BUKKAKE!
[20:30] Ryan: >>
[20:30] Ryan: <<
[20:30] xportraitbruise: wot?
[20:31] Ryan: nuthin
[20:31] xportraitbruise: O_O
[20:31] Ryan: wellll its 11:30 now
[20:31] Ryan: im gonna havta go to sleep soon
[20:31] xportraitbruise: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bukkake
[20:31] xportraitbruise: O_O
[20:31] xportraitbruise: how you know that word, bby?
[20:32] Ryan: hahaha
[20:32] Ryan: you looked that up awful fast…
[20:32] xportraitbruise: i do everything awfully fast
[20:32] xportraitbruise: lightning speed~
[20:32] Ryan: you sure do!
[20:32] Ryan: like zoom zoom quick
[20:33] xportraitbruise: vroom~
[20:33] xportraitbruise: hey, buy me a new car?
[20:33] xportraitbruise: *pretty eyes*
[20:33] xportraitbruise: pwease?
[20:33] Ryan: awwww….no
[20:33] Ryan: XD
[20:34] xportraitbruise: fine!
[20:34] xportraitbruise: then go get your sleep!
[20:34] xportraitbruise: *cries* *staring at that pic still*
[20:34] xportraitbruise: XD
[20:34] xportraitbruise: lulz
[20:34] xportraitbruise: you so cuteeee
[20:34] Ryan: what pic?
[20:34] xportraitbruise: the wiki pic
[20:34] xportraitbruise: D;
[20:34] Ryan: HUHWHA??
[20:34] xportraitbruise: it’s so graphic
[20:34] Ryan: oh
[20:34] xportraitbruise: (lulz)
[20:34] Ryan: its a cartoon
[20:34] xportraitbruise: even sexxier!
[20:35] xportraitbruise: *laughing so hard*
[20:35] xportraitbruise: i feel like posting this on my blog
[20:35] Ryan: hahaha

Jul
23

Randomosity

Can’t recall when it was . . . maybe last night or the night before that, but I dreamt that I was at a new school (it was sort of like Audubon, but not), and Daniel was there. Gahhh!! Why did I dream of him? It’s been so long since I’ve even seen him! I can’t imagine why I’d still like the guy. But there he was and I was trying my bestest to get him to notice me but he didn’t even like me in my dream. What a terrible dream it was!! Even in my dreams, Daniel won’t like me. Haha . . . so sad. I do wonder why he described someone an awful lot like me when asked whom he liked. I can wonder forever and ever why things went so horribly wrong.

I called Ryan todayy; I called a few days ago, but he was too slow in answering the phone. I left a message and said I would call back. Er–well I wanted to wait until the weekend to call. He asked why it took me so long to call him back. Haha what a soft guy. c[; I swear his voice seemed so different. Then again it has been so long since I last spoke with him that I may have forgotten what his voice sounded like. Ehh . . . I'm such a sucker for guys' voices; I love them. And on the phone you focus on listening to their voice; I instantly melt. [;

I'm going to the circus tomorrow with my uncle George and his son, Georgito. © I don't recall ever going to a circus . . .

Layout Info

I love the simplicity of this layout! I still am not happy with the arrangement of the layout, but what to do, eh? [: I took this picture myself while on a tour of Catalina Island. After so obviously flipping the picture, I added a few touches here and there and now you have the layout before you! It is version thirty two . . . wow; so many layouts. Layout production was slower back in my early blogging days, but I make sure to continually update them. [: At least the next two layouts will also be of pictures that I have taken and edited slightly. Ooh is this a trend to watch out for? Hehe. Anyway, continuing, the original image was nothing extraordinary at all; I really spiffy-ed it up. ;] lol. And, like I said, I don’t think this arrangement does it much justice. I considered putting clouds at the bottom of the table. ya know, the clouds usually being here at the top, but then I realized that not many people would scroll all the way to the bottom anyway. -sigh- I added borders and the gradient bg for some added style but something is miiiissing. hahah.

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