Dec
10

Let the Darkness Swallow You Whole

I’m currently sitting in the dark in the living room. It gets dark really early these days. And it sounds like I’m setting the mood for some deep and dark introspective entry, but in reality I’m pretty damn happy! (: That’s totally strange for this time of year, but I’m NOT complaining.

This quarter has felt like a first-quarter-in-college for some reason. That’s not necessarily bad… but all the mental maturity I should have done during my first quarter last year I did this year. But all in baby steps! This quarter I actually studied hardcore for finals and tried my best (somewhat hahaha… I will sometimes procrastinate!). And I think I’m going to get an A in Philosophy of Mind. Based on my grades for the previous 2 assignments (of 3 essays each) all I needed on the final was an 82 to maintain my A. We had to write FOUR essays for the final, which took me two hours and 10 pages. Lmao… shit was intense. I think my brain died a little bit toward the end and my hand was about to fall off.

What really made me super happy was that the TA walked out when I finished my final and was setting it on the table, which at the time was disappointing because I wanted to be all like, “Thanks!! Bye now” sort of thing. But anyway, he stepped out so he could talk to me! He addressed me by name and told me that I was one of the few people to get consistent As in the class and that I did really well. Not gonna lie, I was a little flustered and didn’t know what to say hahaha so I just said, “Well, I love philosophy…” Hahaha… afterward as I was walking away I was totez liek, “damnn that was dumb.” Haha

So last night Instead of studying for Health Psych some more I was too elated and joined Hailey and David to go watch MILK. The movie is about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California. I just have to say the movie was really empowering not just for the progress a single man was able to garner for the gay movement but just as a motivation to always have ideals to strive for because it IS in your power to grasp them.

Note to self: My theory of replacement is dead-on. NUUUUH. Already I think there is a replacement but I’m a bit more like whatever this time. Hahaha. xD And I’m SO over it. Like forreal. YAY!

I cannot wait until WordPress releases WordPress 2.7. I can’t risk even downloading Release Candiate 1 because all my entries on here are super amazingly important to me. The new layout in the Admin looks so much cleaner and nicer that I can’t wait to write my entries with it!!

Ooh… it’s been a while since I listened to the Repo! The Genetic Opera soundtrack so that’s what I’m doing now. I reallllly want to buy the DVD but it isn’t out until January 20th! And already I bought “In The Mood For Love” and “2046″ haha…

OY… speaking of shopping I busted a mission last night. After my Phil of Mind final I didn’t really change into anything warmer when we went out to the movies and I was wearing my thin pink zip-up hoodie. And I was shiiivering so before the movie started we went to American Eagle and I told myself I was looking for a black jacket. Immediately I found two… one with faux fur and a more casual one. xD And… I bought them. -$110 from my account (faux fur jacket was $80 but!!! the second hoodie was 50% off so it was only $20 instead of $40). *dies* Hahaha…. I think in like less than 2 weeks I spent about ~$400 of my own money on clothes. -_-; Hahaha… oops?

I can tell how many days I haven’t used the computer by looking at my RSS feeds. ): There’s a lot to catch up on! BLARGH. asdfkjsadf That’s okayyyy winter break is nearing!!!!!!

Non-sensical happiness!

I love my friends! I love my family! I love myself, too! (:

Nov
28

If This Means Anything At All

I’m home. And I’d like to give a run-down of my days so far! [Bad memory and all... got keep track somehow!] There is nothing introspective or depressing about this entry, swear. Hahaha.

Tuesday, Anna, Gloria and I drove down from Santa Barbara to Downey. We left at 4pm… and got home at 8. A typical two hour drive turned into four with all the traffic! It seriously took an entire hour to get out of Santa Barbara. We’d get excited if we went at 20 mph. It was awful. And what’s worse is that I didn’t have any headphones for my iPod and Santa Barbara stations are the worst eeeever.

That led me to want to start my own radio station. Okay so ideas of grandeur right? Well, not so much. I tweeted about it and people threw a ton of suggestions my way from podcast to streaming internet radio to… joining KCSB! That’s UCSB’s own radio station, and after a quarter of training you get your own show! The thought makes me all giggley and excited! I’m not sure if I’d do it any time soon… probably I’d go look to see if they’d train me Spring quarter and then possibly start in the summer. ^_^ Ahhh! Okay to be realllly honest, even though my voice totally sounds like a little kid’s I’ve always wanted to be on the radio… *dies* Hehehe.

So soon as I got home, my Mom told me my little brother had been waiting for me for a few hours… ♥ He and I went into the pool together and just swam and chilled for an hour. While I was having fun I absolutely had to watch Fringe, which was freaking brilliant!! Anna and I were texting each other about it ahahaha.

Wednesday I woke up at 7:30am automatically. ): No idea why, but anyway got ready for my day and lalala. Then Vy called and we decided to go to the movies at 10am! Haha. It was way early, and I don’t think I’ve ever been to the movies at that time before. I dragged my little brother out so he could get out of the house~ and we all had fun! We watched Four Christmases! It was soo soo cute and funny. Reese Witherspoon is completely adorable! Hm, but I’m not so sure about Vince Vaughn. They gotta stop greenlighting romantic comedies with him, tbh. He ain’t good lookin’ that’s for freaking sure. But I guess he plays the role well (oh ya ‘cus he acts the freaking same!)

Then hahah… goodness I always want pho 24/7 and none of us had eaten yet so we went to go get pho! Elizabeth, my darling precious, joined us, too!! It was the first time my little brother tried pho and he liked it!! I’m really glad for that, hah. It means he and I can go some other time, too… Hahaha. Geezus why is pho so addicting? >>;

Afterward we went back to the new house and I gave them the grand tour. Then… we pretty much hung out watching TV for a while, chatting, etc. Some time around 6:30 we decided to get into the pool and then the jacuzzi. We did that for a few hours, and had tons o’ fun. Around 10pm David joined us and we chatted with him for a while. Vy hadn’t seen David for like 2 years…! Yeah, it’s sort of hard to get a hold of David because he’s always off “saving the world” doing something or other OR stalking the Jonas Brothers with Chita and Piale. No joke on that. He knows where they live ahahaha… creepy! xD

Thursday! Thanksgiving!! This time I awoke at 7am. *groans* I’m going to bed at around midnight-ish and still waking up at 7. It’s pretty ridiculous, but I suppose I’m making the most of my day. ^_^ I won’t bore myself or anyone else with the whole “this is what I am thankful for” stuffz. I know what I’m thankful for and that is more than enough.

After showering and whatnot I finally got a chance to play Fallout 3! My brother finished the main quest so damn fast -_-; And since I don’t have much time nor motivation to play video games anymore I figured I might as well wait to come home to play it than buying my own. It’s fun fun fun! Sort of. Some parts of the game are sort of boring and eh… I got a stupid bug like 30 minutes into the game. That was lame. So I had to keep reloading it (I refused to start over and make a new character). That was frustrating and killed my vigor for a while. And the whole time I couldn’t help but to think, “Wow this is exactly like Oblivion.” Just starting off you’re in a sort of ‘prison’ and exit from the underground tunnel exactly like Oblivion. *sigh* Couldn’t they get any more creative? And the quests are pretty much really similar just with different words and graphics, but saaame concept. Even from Morrowind to Oblivion I didn’t feel like I was playing the same game. >_< Mm, but it’s pretty fun. Though, my characters in most games are always mages! (Lol, reminds me of Ryan’s text message… ‘that’s just what you do’) Yeah… and there’s no magic in the game. *dies* I’m really into uh… aiming from a distance so I dun die. But … since I don’t like to use that starting bat too much on people (it’s reserved for animals since they die faster that way)… I run out of ammo. ): That’s no fun. In Oblivion I’m always a Breton under the sign of the Mage so my MP always just refills automatically. I’m not used to having to *find* weapons or running out of what Fallout 3 calls Action Points.

Anyway, afterward I got some really nice text messages from peeps and figured I should probably text people, too! So I sent a nice text message to some select friends and it was nice getting the replies back! (: For some ~strange~ reason I thought to text Eric H. xD The last time we talked we were arguing on Facebook (hahahaha) but I always just get over shit. *shrugs*

Then family arrived!! (: We had dinner at like 6pm and everything was delicious!!! The coditos George made were my faaaavorite! And surprisingly, in second, was the ham El made. o_o I don’t like ham and I even *hate* bacon. So woahhh~ Surprise there. To be honest I didn’t have any turkey… hahaha. I’m not too big on meat. xD That’s another reason I was surprised I really enjoyed the ham, but it was so flavorful! And the bread rolls… *oh my godz* Haha, I cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and have leftovers. (:

So for a few hours I was away from my phone pretty much because I was around the house reading Snow Country or hanging with my little brother. But eventually I came back to my cell and found that Eric had texted me, much to my surprise. So I texted him back, whatever… and then hahaha he called me. I didn’t really want to answer the phone >> but that was awkward because I’d *just* texted him so clearly I was by my cell. Tbh, I’m not always big on talking on the phone. It requires a lot of energy and often (but not always) you have to sound really cheerful and enthusiastic. But I’m digressing. We chatted for a while and then he suggested we hang out. I almost died. Since I was in a good mood I agreed, and didn’t even hesitate. Only after was I panicking and going zomgz whyy? xD (He usually gets on my last nerve)

So he came over, and I introduced him to the family. That was awkward~ especially since my ex-boyfriend’s name is also Eric. *cringes* It was just weird. I half-heartedly gave him a tour of the house because of the awkward-ness. He brought me a gift, too. xD Hahaha. Anyway.

We chatted for a while (he does most of the talking actually… and he kind of never stops talking unless you stop him). It came up that neither of us had seen Quantum of Solace and so he asked if I wanted to go. By this time, dinner was over and I was totally down. (: So we went and uh… well, to be honest the movie was just OK. It didn’t astound me, that’s for sure, but it wasn’t boring either.

Then we got back to the house and since I had no idea what to do or even talk about I suggested we play video games. Haha. Despite the fact that there are FIVE PS3s in the house I barged into my little brother’s room (lulz) and asked if we could chill with him. So I had the little dog Perlita in my lap, asleep, and the two of them played CoD: WoW while I just watched.

After an hour of that he finally left. *sigh* I don’t know… I felt awkward because I’m pretty sure my family thought it was a date. WAS NOT! >_< He and I were really close when I was in 11th grade. Now we’re just friends… except he annoys me more often than not, but he’s still a friend.

After he left I joined mother and Aunt El in the jacuzzi. Ugh, they made some jokes about me going out and stuff… *dies* It was so freaking awkward. But!!!!!!

A few good things came from the jacuzzi hang. I found out that for my 21st birthday El and I are going to travel… for 10-ish days to anywhere in the world, any location of my choosing! ^_^ Sweet deal or sweet deal? I KNOW RIGHT!!!!!! They totally figured I’d want to go to Japan, but for some reason I’m sort of over it.

I have always loved European architecture and not gonna lie the first place that came to mind was Italy. And so El said she wouldn’t mind going to Italy and France (even though she’s been to the latter, she’s okay going again hahaha). *feels so freaking excited* Okay, it’s totally more than a year away, but I can start thinking up the itinerary. This is *huge*! She’d totally have to take off days from work…! (She just said she can’t go during May, June, or July because that’s cherry season – but most likely I’ll want to go during March or April nearer to my actual birthday).

Also, Mom suddenly doesn’t feel up to going shopping tomorrow because of the crazy rush but she’s still going to give me $500 if I want to buy anything. Gahh… there are a whole bunch of LITTLE things that I NEED but then she suggested something like if I wanted a bigger TV… and now I don’t know!!! Gah. I mean, I don’t *need* one that’s for sure… but it’d be nice to have!! xD I sort of just want a 32″ for my apartment. Gah… what do I want?

  • Victoria’s Secret shopping~ (Totally totally want~)
  • Winter jackets!!!! Cute warm ones~
  • DVDs
  • iPod classic (but I may get this for Christmas)
  • Graphics card for my PC (always torn… I don’t *really* play video games on my PC besides The Sims 2 but it’s nice to have the option for more graphics intensive demanding games)
  • Clothes
  • Socks (yes, forreal I want socks… xD)
  • Diamond earrings
  • PS3 (I would be able to buy Blu-ray DVDs finally and gah… play videogames)
  • Booooks

Hahah… argh… I’m tempted to spend a lot of money on a lot of little things… but then… I mean I can get all those little things for Christmas (Considering my alloted money I’m considering a new iPod as a little thing, yes). I am so so so torn!

And gahhhh… stupid me, I looked at Costco.com and then I saw pictures of diamond earrings… *sigh* I really do love diamonds… That was a bad idea. Imagine “throwing away” all my money on jewelry? XD Haha… that’d be a little reckless not gonna lie. And lmao… I might as well steal a PS3 from this house. :p Like they’d notice one missing. Hahaha. Jkkk~

The HONEST truth? I don’t actually want anything. If you ask me to make a list of things I need I can come up with a million small things, but… give me $500 and … I don’t know… I don’t really feel like spending it on something special because I’m okay without even more material stuff. WTF is wrong with meee? I’m typically a shopaholic! >< But basically, I’m okay without buying all the things I need and/or want. Sort of like, my life will go on regardless of the money or the items I can buy with it. Example: I realllly want a new iPod with enough room to put all my music on, but at the same time … I’m okay if I don’t get it, you know? And that just makes me sort of lose my excitement for shopping.

My goal for tomorrow: Finish the last 20 pages of Snow Country and start the second Twilight book. Hahaha >>; Just when I redeemed myself saying I’m not materialistic (at the moment, anyway) I bust out with a, “I’m liek totez a Twilight fan!” Hahaha.

AH! 2am?! NIGHT~

Aug
28

Shopping Does The Soul Good

I need to start with my yesterday to talk about today.

Paulina texted me on Tuesday night asking if I wanted to work merch for the Jack Johnson concert on Wednesday. I lovelovelove doing merch and I immediately texted back that I’d love to, and even though I was hella tired from traveling back to SB from Downey and then rushing immediately to work that night I was so down to do merch the next day.

Okay, so yesterday I headed over to Harder Stadium at 1 and so began my very long day of working merch for the concert. Originally the plan was for me to work from 1pm to 11pm, and the other shift would come in from 4pm and stay until 1am. That did not go accordingly and instead I worked until 1am, for 12 hours straight with only one 10 minute break.

JJ had PALETTES of merch in a huuuuge truck, and I really had never seen so much fucking merch in one tent in my life! Early in the day there were only six of us and wow… it was so hectic organizing shit, let me tell you. ACK. And ughh! As I was hanging merch on the “wall” for display some fucking photographer took a photo of me while I was standing on a table. OH HELL NO. It was so awkward!!!!

I have never held THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of dollars on my person before. Like seriously my hands felt so FILTHY touching all that money!!! ACK. And omg, all 12 of us (6 joined in at 4pm) were barefoot on the grass. We were just running back and forth and there were 5-6 people deep in line all across the tent!!!! It was such a bombardment, a rush, and just damn exciting!!!! (: AHHH Merch is just damn amazing. And I make a cute sales girl. (;

I mean I hate anything to do with selling. I cannot for the life of me persuade ~anyone~ to do anything, especially if they don’t want to. It’s just not what I do! I feel I should not have to convince anyone ever, because it is a waste of my breath and time. But that serious issue aside, selling people really cute shirts is awesome. I know all the sizes, people ask me for my opinion on what I like, etc., and ahhh everyone is just happy all around! I’m not convincing anyone. They’re all vying for my attention to get something they ~really~ want. (: And III get the special honor of helping them pick and choose and find something that suits them/fits them!

Anyway, by end of the night I’m pretty sure JJ made huge money. Like HUGE. It’d be unprofessional to say just how much, so I won’t, but know it was A SHIT TON OF MONEY. He could buy a Honda Accord, no problem, with that money. (Not quite a Lexus or anything more upscale, but dude that’s still a lot of money). I got $250 for that one day’s work. (: Happy happy times! (And I got a free tote bag!!)

Anyway, so I found out one of the guys working lives right across the street from me, like directly across and so we both biked back home together at like 1:30 in the morning… haha… But instead of going back to his place Edward felt like chatting it up or something. We coincidentally found David locking up his bike, coming from work, I think, and we were like ZOMG we all know each other now! haha…. and we went to eat at Freebirds! Lol. OMG! Then we brought the chatter back to my apartment and these fuckin’ guys kept talking about AS until 4am. By then I was like OHN, I need to sleep. I had to CONVINCE them to leave my apartment. Haha, fuckin’ cuhrazy queers<3

I woke up at 10am, got ready, met up with David to find a bike for him to ride, then called up Edward so we could eat at Pho Bistro in IV. Then Paulina called and she joined us! Pho is so damn good, but Pho Bistro’s is mediocre. And wow…. after we got our food walked in Moonie, Jose, and Miguel! And then these other people Paulina knew and we just all knew each other there, no joke! It’s a small place and IV is pretty small too so we were all just chattering away. haha.

Anyway, afterward Sandy, David, and I decided to go shopping! It’s got me in such a great mood!!! Everything was so damn cute on me!!!! Really boosted my self-esteem. ^_^ Normally dresses I’m totally iffy about ‘cus I don’t really think I look that great in them but arghhh… I got three!!

And I got two jeans from PacSun, too. OHHHH MY GOODNESS. We saw Alexis Bledel at Macy’s!!!! She wore a black and white striped jacket, she was so petite, and she looked like a regular girl shopping, except her face is fucking GORGEOUS!!!! She currently has straight black hair, and it’s amazingly shiny.

Anyway, I ended up spending $300… Hahahaha…. pictures later, promise. Everything is sosososososososoooo cute. ARGHHHH can’t stand how cute everything is. I just want to model it all right now. Haha… ^_^;;

Okok time is running out! Need to post this!

Eye candy:

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Oct
28

Are You Telling Me That You Will Listen?

Here’s a picture of my lip piercing (and yeah, slightly swollen, atm, but irl you can’t really tell) (click it to see larger):

lippiercing.jpg

I went home AGAIN this weekend. I slept over at Auntie Meme’s place on Friday night. She watched episodes of shows she recorded while I chatted with Elizabeth, first on the phone, and then online. I recall chatting with some other people, but I just don’t know who I was talking to anymore. My memories fade really fast, sadly. I went to bed at midnight, which is kinda early. Anyway, I got two calls after I slept, one at 1:20 and the other at 1:40… but I was already asleep. I don’t remember this at all, but my aunt said she handed me my cell and I replied, “No, I’m too sleepy.” You can talk to me when I sleep if you say my name, but I won’t remember a single thing in the morning! It’s sort of scary because I might say something without meaning to… eek. AH! I just remembered something from overa year ago… sadness.

Saturday, I attended baby Alex’s 2 year birthday party. Afterward I was pretty exhausted so I took a two-hour nap. Then I met up with Alba at her house. We went to Universal Citywalk and ate dinner at Tu Tu Tango. There was live music and dancing outside, but we felt too shy to dance out there. Instead we watched Rendition. (: Ooh, and I got a new jacket from Hard Rock Cafe. It’s black with pretty pink-ish skulls on the back. Lolol, it’s so me. As the night ended I went back to her house and slept over.

Today she dropped me off at Universal Citywalk and there I met up with Rona. We watched Saw IV♥. I got a delicious pretzel afterward while Rona got a churro. We stopped by The Sock Market (or whatevz it’s called) where I was really tempted to buy lots of cute socks, but I didn’t because they were all mostly size 9-11… and that fits sizes 5.5 to 10. Uhm, well I wear size 3-5… so you can see my dilemma. =\ Entering Hot Topic was fun because all the employees were wearing costumes. (: Rona got Coffeebean afterward. Uh… after some time of walking around her mother came to pick us up and we left to the train station in Van Nuys.

I’m back in my dorm. I met Sharon’s sister, Melissa. She seems really nice. (: I had dinner today with Rona, Tibi, Daniel, Nikita (he’s Russian), and Tyler. It was the bestest most fun meal ever. Having guy friends is infinitely more fun than having girl friends. And, Rona and I now have a secret with each other. Hahah… if you read this on my xanga, shh! (;

Some things are undeniable… and I so badly want to admit something to myself, but I won’t allow it.
The end(:

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