Jun
22

Backdated: Written in Journal

Okay I’m going to take a few pills. Just to sleep for a day.

It’s 12:13am and I just took quadruple the dose of what I take for a night’s sleep. Two pills usually knock me out for 12ish hours so 4 ought to be a day… I was a bit too scared to take 5. In terms of mg 4 isn’t that bad actually, it’s just more than I’m used to taking. This wouldn’t be considered a suicide attempt would it? Nono, it’s only sleep for a day. *shrugs* Whatever.

This is what happened: I got slightly drowsy, but I didn’t fall asleep until 1:20am. It was extremely hot so I turned on the AC and just before falling asleep I felt completely wide awake.

Anyway, a short while after 1pm my mother was pounding on my door saying she had brought me food for lunch… but I pretended not to hear it. She eventually unlocked the door and just stared at me lying in bed. The pills were right beside my bed but I seriously doubt she noticed. Then again I didn’t have my contacts on so who knows what she saw. My little brother was right behind her looking in to see what all the drama was about, which is funny. He’s such a girl in that respect.

Finally at 3pm I woke up, my body feeling completely numb, and my brain a big fuzzy mess. I took a shower, but I still didn’t feel any more awake. I hate the feeling the pills give me when I wake up. By 4pm I walked to the living room and tried my best to read my email and shit like that, but it was really reallllyyy hard. Any sound sent alert signals to my brain telling it to wake up. It’s like when you’re about to fall asleep and a sound suddenly wakes you up – that’s the feeling. No fun, really.

Anyway then I called my aunt to see if she wanted to go with me to the Apple store to get my iPhone replaced (as it DIED completely when I plugged it into the wall charger). She said yezzz and surprisingly my lil’ brother wanted to come with as well. I was kind of scared driving seeing as I was still half asleep in my brain, but hahaha… we made it alive.

I now have my third iPhone in my possession. Geez, these things break too easily, but whatever ‘cus it’s way easy to get a new one as well.

AND THEN! We watched The Incredible Hulk. TONS of hearts to that movie. I looooooved it. Uh, but Liv Tyler still can’t act and she still sucks lots. She’s so ickyyy.

Ok, the end. Watching The Kite Runner now.

Jun
16

Please oh please believe in anything but me

I’ve been looking all over the internet using the handy dandy StumbleUpon toolbar for about two hours in search of inspiration for a blog entry, but have found absolutely nothing. I want to be able to feel something, express an emotion, write something personal, and share ANYthing with you but I can’t think of a damn thing.

In particular I was looking to be moved by some sort of photograph, and it’s true that they touch me in some form but no thoughts come to mind. This photo really strikes me as poignant, though:


(Click for bigger)

And I suppose sharing the photo is a good-enough post for a day in which I have no thoughts.

That photo makes me both sad and happy. There’s something so serene about it, but the black and white strike me as … melancholic; the lack of color sets the mood, I suppose.

Currently I am on the phone with Vy and Elizabeth so I am a bit distracted but still not finding any inspiration. Ugh, this sucks. Basically I can only really get to writing in my moleskine and not so much on here (for the time being).

I’ll come up with something brilliant soon, I promise.

Jun
12

And Did You Know That I Really Wanted To Share These Moments With You?

This post will lack literary value. Too much. This calls for a list!

  • DMV to get a new sticker for the Lexus.
  • First smog check ever for the Lexus.
  • Manicure with Mom.
  • The Lexus is now mine. ^_^; Teehee. Exciting!
  • Yoshinoya (but ugh didn’t like mine – too salty. Emo!)
  • Drove to the Apple store in Pasadena.
  • Brian’s 4th grade class presented some animation movies they spent 5 months working on! They were really amazing.
  • Bakery and cafe!
  • Lakers fuhreaking LOST. WHAT THE HELL. Seriously, most disappointing upset considering they were up and winning for most of the game!
  • SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE. So so so so so sad. (I think the disco dancers should have been in the bottom three couples, but that’s just me.)

Here’s a picture of a Lexus IS300:

Mom’s old car. She has a BMW now so since it was just you know, there, it’s now mine. Pwuahahaha. *ahem* Keeping professionalism, OMFG!!!~ (: I love this sports car. *dies of joy* So fast, so smooth, so damn elegant, so… MINE. ^_^;

I really wish you were hereā™„ I’ll keep dreaming.

P.S. On a completely unrelated side note: Steve is super amazingly cute and awesome.

Jun
11

The Toss and the Shattering of Glass (Here’s The Plan)

Yesterday I got back home sometime after 8pm. It was definitely a rough start coming back. About an hour after being back my mom told me she had gotten my purple Sony Ericsson and started using it because her cellphone stopped working. Naturally I was slightly upset (though I really shouldn’t have been), and told her that she could have at least asked. Uh… well she got VERY ANGRY and threw my ex-cell on the granite countertop making the back and the battery go flying elsewhere.

My mother then exclaimed that if she can’t have a phone neither could I. She got the house phone, called AT&T and canceled my phone. Yeah, I got kinda pissed but decided there was really no point getting mad. (Well I’ve been a little too apathetic to get mad anyway.) I didn’t really make too big a deal about it.

Knowing that I would get kind of depressed I went straight to bed at 9pm.

Today I went on as planned and went to an AT&T store to get my own cell phone plan for my iPhone. Yey! Another step towards financial independence. It was funny because in the car I told my friends that the first question they were going to ask me was, “Are you over 18?” Lmao, and sure enough that was exactly the first question they asked. The guy said I don’t look anywhere near 18, but yo! I’m 19.

Then Elizabeth, Vy, Jean, and I hung out. So much fun!!! (: Later in the night we watched So You Think You Can Dance!!! :D AHHH so exciting! Love this show~

Mm, so I just got back home and my mom and I have made up. After she got mad she got sad that I got mad that she borrowed my phone (yeah…). Anyway, she bought me blackberries and strawberries and mangoes!! (: All is good. And I feel good, too, that I’m more financially independent.

Everything is going to be okay.

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